The Best Day of My Life

Yesterday I was quickly reading through some status updates on Facebook. The status was from a girl I went to high school with that she was in labor and about to give birth to her firstborn. One of the comments read, "congratulations! This is going to be the best day of your life!" And for some odd reason, the first thing that popped into my head was, "maybe not." Maybe it won't be the best day of her life. Isn't that a weird thing for me to think? Believe me, I know what was meant by the comment and I'm not trying to be over analytical, it just made me think. I mean, being a mother was the number 1 thing I wanted to be in life. I love my kids and being their mom more than my very life.

But the day I became a mother was not the best day of my life. In fact, the day was pretty scary. Experiencing labor pains for the first time ever and being so unsure of what was to come. The panic of being home alone and trying to figure out what to do... called Ronny, called my mom, called Meg, waited, timed contractions, called Ronny again to go ahead and come home from work... called the doctor, went to the hospital, more labor pains. Then, my crazy baby boy went into severe fetal distress and I had to put completely under for an emergency c-section. Nope, sorry folks, not the best day of my life. I don't have a clear memory of holding Hudson for the first time because of all the anasthesia. I do remember thinking, don't bring him in here yet- I'm not fully awake and I'm freaking out inside. I remember feeling fear that suddenly I was SO inadequate to handle that beautiful baby. The day was incredibly significant. Definitely the most significant day of my life. Definitive even. Don't get me wrong. It was a day, and a moment of holding him that first time, that changed all the rest of my days for forever.

However, I can think of 100 different days and moments that have been better while being Hudson's mom than just becoming Hudson's mom. Early newborn days where we layed together on the couch all day long and bonded over nursing and TV. Those days were better than the day he was born. Watching him make all of his animal sign language signs and animals sounds before he could even speak clearly and getting a glimpse of his personality. I clearly remember him sitting in my white chair in the living room and showing off for his daddy and me! That was a better day than the day he was born. The countless hugs and kisses and I love you's-- the millions of stories read and watching him in total joy at a playground-- hearing him share with us how BIG God is and how much he loves Jesus-- riding through a game park in Namibia and watching Hudson watch the animals he adores so much-- ALL better days and better moments than the scary day he was born. Because I love being his mom so much more than just becoming his mom.

My wedding day certainly ranks up there on best days ever. I mean, a day all about ME (and Ronny!) Feeling like a beautiful princess, having the wedding of my dreams, being surrounded by people I loved dearly and who loved me. It was a close to perfect day! But even that, I now know Ronny so much better now. I love him so much deeper. I have honestly had better days being his wife, than I did becoming his wife. The moment I married Ronny was of course, like I've said, signigicant and definitive but wouldn't it be sad if the best day I ever had was 9 years in the past? Shouldn't my joy increase in my marriage as the years go by? Not that there are not ups and downs, but I pray it just keeps getting better and better!

I have created a beautiful movie in my head of the day Eli is born. It is pain free, stress free, Hudson and Avery are instantly in love with him, he is perfect in every way and we all adjust beautifully to our new family of 5 without missing a beat! It could happen like that, I guess. :) But I am comforted with the reality that even if it doesn't and even if, I mean, when, it's hard and it hurts to recover, and we're all tired and crying... that it is absolutely worth it ALL and there will be a million "best days ever" still to come!