In Defense of Michelle

Not that she needs my defense. Or that anyone cares one iota for my opinion but it's my blog so I share it :) Michelle Duggar is a woman following hard after the heart of God. I'd rather my daughter turn out like her than 100% of the other women I see on television. I love her. I love her mother's heart. I love her unwavering devotion to Jesus, her husband and her children. I love that even though they are bound to be bankin' on their show and books and speaking engagements, they still buy clothes at thrift stores and she feels no pressure whatsoever to get a new hairstyle :) Her parenting decisions may not be mine. I think I'm good with 3 and I let my kids wear shorts. But one thing I've noticed again and again with Michelle and Jim Bob in everything I have watched, heard or read is they are not judging ANYONE who is not choosing to do things their way. They have a platform. An incredible platform to share Jesus and their way of doing life with the world. I for one, am greatly, greatly encouraged each time. There is no condemnation in Jesus and I'm not sensing any from the Duggars either.

I speak in a softer, gentler voice to my children after watching Michelle. I pray to gain my children's hearts (as she says) rather than expect them to follow a list of rules. I turn off the TV and make better use of my time with my kids. I include them in the kitchen. I let them play hard throughout the house :).

One of the things I keep hearing is that it's unfair to the older kids to have to raise the younger ones. First of all, I don't hear any of those kids complain. And best I can tell, Jana and John David no longer live at home. (not sure, but it appears that way. So they can leave when they're ready!) They weren't raised feeling entitled to get whatever the want, when they want it. Or to be served by their mom and a maid all their life. They do have a lot of responsibility. It will actually make them contributing members of society. And I dare say it's no different from how most people raise children, with the help of the older one(s). Their family is just really big and on television so it's magnified. I have a 5 year old, a 3 year old and a 1 year. My 5 year old can buckle the other two into their car seats and unbuckle them when we get somewhere. He can carry grocery bags into the house. He can give the baby a bottle. He can even unload the dishwasher. And he does all of those things all the time. It helps me. It teaches him to serve and be helpful. And he LOVES being mommy's helper. I grew up sleeping in the same room with my sisters. My kids love to all sleep together. Multiply it by 20 and it looks huge, but it's really not that different.

I am legitimately concerned for her health and body. And I am praying against preeclampsia for her! But I have to agree with the concept of not giving up because you had a scary experience. I had a very scary emergency cesarean delivery of my first born. What if I'd been too scared to do it again? I'd have missed out on my other two joys. Again, with them, it's just bigger and more extreme :)

The other frequent complaint is how can she possibly have time to spend quality time with all of those children every day. Many are saying, "I don't even have time to spend with the two I have!" OK, really? Then what are you doing with your time? Michelle homeschools them all and they have a house church. The family all travels together (even to Little Rock for 7 months while Josie was in the hospital). Her children are top priority. There is time for that. If a woman is at work all day, or if children are at school for 8 hours a day, and then dropped off for an after school activity and then everyone watches TV while mom shoos kids out of her way in the kitchen, then kids go to bed... reach the weekend and are in the nursery for 3 hours on Sunday morning, then all sent to their rooms for naps while dad watches football and mom sleeps on the couch (um, that's what we do) then no, there isn't time. And my kids go to school and we watch TV. I'm not judging that. I'm just saying, she does have time to be with them because that is what she does. I have tremendous respect for that. And clearly she and Jim Bob have alone time. They have 20 children.

Bottom line to me is it seems very clear that they are completely and utterly satisfied with their choices and their life. They exude happiness and joy. Obedience leads to that. Obedience doesn't necessarily lead to a TV series and lots of money and lots of tropical vacations and stage time. Obedience doesn't equal fame. Not always. The Duggars certainly have a huge amount of responsibility to represent God well with the platform He's given them. They seem very up to the task! Sometimes our obedience to God doesn't look glamorous at all. Michelle already had 14 children (and they were already living debt free I might add) before they ever saw one TV camera. God's kingdom is an upside down one... the least is the greatest and the greatest is a servant to all. Obedience to God doesn't necessarily equal the American dream. (thank God) Because He gives so much more than that. He gives satisfaction. He gives joy in the menial and mundane. He makes the stay at home mommy in her pj's cleaning up vomit feel like a queen. (that's my story so it's the one I can share. I'm quite certain He makes tired working moms feel like queens, too!)  He blesses obedience. So, like it or not, agree with them or not, God has blessed the Duggars. They are doing something right. And it intrigues me. They are doing a lot of things right actually. And for a while I thought that meant I had to keep having babies, but I think the biggest lesson I'm learning from them is that they are blessed because they are obedient to God. And I will feel the blessing when I follow in obedience to whatever He asks of me. Expecting that from His hand come gifts and blessings beyond what I could ever dream up on my own. His Kingdom is upside down... but it's the only Kingdom I want.