Tuesday, September 18, 2012
A letter to my 16 year old self
Don't take yourself so seriously. Life doesn't begin and end in high school. The day will come when you are an adult driving a mini van with three car seats in it. You'll love life, don't get me wrong. But now, as you are getting your driver's license, don't choose a car with four doors just in case you are still driving it 6 years from now when you graduate from college, get married and have your first child as according to your timeline. You won't be. You'll actually get to do some pretty cool stuff before you have kids. (and wonderful stuff after you have kids, too!)
Do not let him treat you like that. Any "him". He is so not cool. When you are your 20's, he will be loooong gone and your husband will be hot and adore you completely. And you teenage Kylie, are a lot cooler than you think you are. Pluck your eye brows though. For the love of God pluck your eyebrows. And then stop paying for dates and answering the phone in the middle of the night. Do not do that ever again! It's just embarrassing. You are so, so, so much better than that. You're not going to marry him. Thank God. Literally thank God every day for the rest of your life that He knows better! Listen to your mom and dad. They love you a lot and know a whole lot more than you do. They think he's a loser. Believe them.
You want to follow Jesus and do the right thing. I'm gonna look back and applaud you for that. But stop making it so painful. He wants to bring you joy. Just enjoy Him. Just talk to Him and be with Him and stop being afraid you're gonna mess up and screw up everything for the rest of your life. Don't be 32 before you learn that God's grace applies to you, too. Don't live in fear and under the law. Let love and grace, not fear, be your motivator.
Don't be so afraid to let go and move on to new things. God has unbelievably exciting things for you! Get out there and do them! It's OK if you fail at some things. Just keep dreaming and trying and be thankful for every opportunity!
You are so much smarter than you think you are. Take the hard classes. Even if they're not required for graduation. Take more science now. Take more science in college. You are capable. Because when you're 30, you're going to wish you'd gone to nursing school. And wish that you'd at least tried instead of just being afraid that you'd fail.
Read for pleasure. Read your assignments for goodness sake. Remember how you are so much smarter than you know? Because in your 30's you're going to be reading 6 books at once to make up for lost time. There's so much beauty in words. Explore that beauty. Speaking of beauty, don't quit French after the second year just because you'd fulfilled all your credits. Keep studying and practicing and reading French. You're good at it!! You will get to France one day and North Africa and West Africa... and quiet all the critics who say you won't need French in Central Texas :) (And while we're at it, hey 33 year old self, you're still going to get to France and West Africa one day. Pick that French back up.)
You're not all bad, 16 year old Kylie. You have great friends. Keep treasuring them. You are going to keep making amazing friends, too. God provides in every season. Keep giving yourself completely and love hard. It's worth it. You have been given a tremendous foundation in the Lord. Be grateful. When life gets hard, that foundation will be a rock to stand on. Your sisters are watching you and they're going to be your best friends one day. Stop kicking them away- literally ;)
Turning 30 is actually awesome and not scary.
Last but not least, stay out of the tanning bed. In about 10 years your pregnancy hormones and damaged skin are gonna make a hideous combo.
To recap- Relax. You are more fun than you think you are. You are cooler than you think you are. You are smarter than you think you are. You are worth WAY more than you think you are. His grace covers all.
Read more letters and write one to yourself! HERE!