Bus Driver

In Defense of Michelle

2011-11-09T09:28:00.000-06:00

Not that she needs my defense. Or that anyone cares one iota for my opinion but it's my blog so I share it :) Michelle Duggar is a woman following hard after the heart of God. I'd rather my daughter turn out like her than 100% of the other women I see on television. I love her. I love her mother's heart. I love her unwavering devotion to Jesus, her husband and her children. I love that even though they are bound to be bankin' on their show and books and speaking engagements, they still buy clothes at thrift stores and she feels no pressure whatsoever to get a new hairstyle :) Her parenting decisions may not be mine. I think I'm good with 3 and I let my kids wear shorts. But one thing I've noticed again and again with Michelle and Jim Bob in everything I have watched, heard or read is they are not judging ANYONE who is not choosing to do things their way. They have a platform. An incredible platform to share Jesus and their way of doing life with the world. I for one, am greatly, greatly encouraged each time. There is no condemnation in Jesus and I'm not sensing any from the Duggars either.

I speak in a softer, gentler voice to my children after watching Michelle. I pray to gain my children's hearts (as she says) rather than expect them to follow a list of rules. I turn off the TV and make better use of my time with my kids. I include them in the kitchen. I let them play hard throughout the house :).

One of the things I keep hearing is that it's unfair to the older kids to have to raise the younger ones. First of all, I don't hear any of those kids complain. And best I can tell, Jana and John David no longer live at home. (not sure, but it appears that way. So they can leave when they're ready!) They weren't raised feeling entitled to get whatever the want, when they want it. Or to be served by their mom and a maid all their life. They do have a lot of responsibility. It will actually make them contributing members of society. And I dare say it's no different from how most people raise children, with the help of the older one(s). Their family is just really big and on television so it's magnified. I have a 5 year old, a 3 year old and a 1 year. My 5 year old can buckle the other two into their car seats and unbuckle them when we get somewhere. He can carry grocery bags into the house. He can give the baby a bottle. He can even unload the dishwasher. And he does all of those things all the time. It helps me. It teaches him to serve and be helpful. And he LOVES being mommy's helper. I grew up sleeping in the same room with my sisters. My kids love to all sleep together. Multiply it by 20 and it looks huge, but it's really not that different.

I am legitimately concerned for her health and body. And I am praying against preeclampsia for her! But I have to agree with the concept of not giving up because you had a scary experience. I had a very scary emergency cesarean delivery of my first born. What if I'd been too scared to do it again? I'd have missed out on my other two joys. Again, with them, it's just bigger and more extreme :)

The other frequent complaint is how can she possibly have time to spend quality time with all of those children every day. Many are saying, "I don't even have time to spend with the two I have!" OK, really? Then what are you doing with your time? Michelle homeschools them all and they have a house church. The family all travels together (even to Little Rock for 7 months while Josie was in the hospital). Her children are top priority. There is time for that. If a woman is at work all day, or if children are at school for 8 hours a day, and then dropped off for an after school activity and then everyone watches TV while mom shoos kids out of her way in the kitchen, then kids go to bed... reach the weekend and are in the nursery for 3 hours on Sunday morning, then all sent to their rooms for naps while dad watches football and mom sleeps on the couch (um, that's what we do) then no, there isn't time. And my kids go to school and we watch TV. I'm not judging that. I'm just saying, she does have time to be with them because that is what she does. I have tremendous respect for that. And clearly she and Jim Bob have alone time. They have 20 children.

Bottom line to me is it seems very clear that they are completely and utterly satisfied with their choices and their life. They exude happiness and joy. Obedience leads to that. Obedience doesn't necessarily lead to a TV series and lots of money and lots of tropical vacations and stage time. Obedience doesn't equal fame. Not always. The Duggars certainly have a huge amount of responsibility to represent God well with the platform He's given them. They seem very up to the task! Sometimes our obedience to God doesn't look glamorous at all. Michelle already had 14 children (and they were already living debt free I might add) before they ever saw one TV camera. God's kingdom is an upside down one... the least is the greatest and the greatest is a servant to all. Obedience to God doesn't necessarily equal the American dream. (thank God) Because He gives so much more than that. He gives satisfaction. He gives joy in the menial and mundane. He makes the stay at home mommy in her pj's cleaning up vomit feel like a queen. (that's my story so it's the one I can share. I'm quite certain He makes tired working moms feel like queens, too!) He blesses obedience. So, like it or not, agree with them or not, God has blessed the Duggars. They are doing something right. And it intrigues me. They are doing a lot of things right actually. And for a while I thought that meant I had to keep having babies, but I think the biggest lesson I'm learning from them is that they are blessed because they are obedient to God. And I will feel the blessing when I follow in obedience to whatever He asks of me. Expecting that from His hand come gifts and blessings beyond what I could ever dream up on my own. His Kingdom is upside down... but it's the only Kingdom I want.

Grateful

2011-09-01T17:24:00.001-05:00

I consider myself a rather generous person. I like to think that I'm unselfish, that I give a lot of myself, my time, and my resources to others. That I put the needs of others before my own. That I consider others schedules and feelings. I don't know if that's entirely true, but it's my perception of myself anyway :). And while all this "giving" that I'm claiming to do ought to come from a place of godliness and graciousness and completely pure motives, I can't say that it always does. In fact, I often find my mind grumbling lies to myself like "see, no one ever gives as much to you as you do to them..." or "everyone in your life just takes and takes and takes while you give and give and give..." or "your marriage only works because you make all the sacrifice." (my husband is laughing out loud at the ludicrousy of that one.) I could go on, but you get the point. I am not proud of these thoughts and I mean no offense to any reader that is especially close to me, who at this moment is shouting, "Are you freaking kidding me?! I give and give to you all the time!!" Yes, I know you do, indignant friends and family members, and I'm getting to you. :)

I was driving home from Avery's dance class yesterday morning when the thought came to me. You know Kylie, people have been giving and giving and giving a lot to you lately. You've been the recipient of a lot of grace. So I asked God to show me and immediately my mind was flooded and I was so overwhelmed with the way God has loved me through so many over the last few months. So much so, that I actually shed tears of gratitude.

Gratitude for the friend who offered to watch my kids for a morning so I could get a pedicure and get my eyebrows waxed before I left on an anniversary trip with my husband. And while I was gone folded clothes out of my dryer and cleaned up the toy closet. And stayed my friend even after seeing the inside of my laundry room and toy closet. Gratitude for another friend who did not ask, but rather told me she was coming to help me get kids in bed one night in June, and then stayed to keep me company while Ronny was out of the country and Avery was so sick. Gratitude for my parents who graciously kept my children for an entire week while Ronny and I celebrated 10 years of marriage in St Lucia. Gratitude for my husband, who doesn't really love the sun or the beach, spending a lot of money and time off of work in a place that he knows I love. (not to mention gratitude to the man for giving me 3 incredible kids and sticking with me for 10 years!) Gratitude to yet another friend who provided a wonderful parents day out program where my kids could go when Ronny and I got stuck overnight in Miami on our way home and my mom needed to go to work. Gratitude for friends who sit in my living room while our kids destroy the place and neither of us are bothered or worried about it.

Gratitude for my younger sister who sat in a hot car with me and talked me through and calmed me through a mild panic attack without judgement. That same one suffered a miscarriage the same week Avery was diagnosed with Celiac and she cried for me and my girl. oh my gosh. i am humbled. (I had her permission to include that for public viewing) We did a lot of crying for each other that week. We felt the nearness of God together that week, too. Gratitude for my youngest sister who mourns and cries with me over losses that seem insignificant to anyone else. And who makes me laugh all the time, too. Gratitude for grandparents and cousins and other friends that I know without a doubt would give me the moon if I asked for it.

Gratitude for a friend who worked long and hard to make me the most beautiful gift I have ever received. The quilt is perfect. The words she spoke when she gave it to me and the prayers she prayed for me while she worked on it are priceless.

Gratitude for the other mommies in Avery's class who asked me at the parent meeting what she could eat because when they brought snack, they wanted her to get to have what everyone else was having and not feel left out. They didn't have to do that. I am so grateful that there are people out there who understand how I feel about her. Gratitude for all of the friends who posted on my fb wall, or sent me messages to wish Eli a happy 1st birthday yesterday. Because that means I have friends who know that loving me means loving my kids- and they love so well.

My heart is not just full. It overflows.

He sees Avery

2011-08-15T09:38:00.000-05:00

If you've read my previous post, here is the other half of that story. It's the work God was doing in the physical in my girl, while working in the spiritual in my heart. It all goes hand in hand in my world so I hope that translates to the reader as well... or if not, this is just my little outlet place to write that no one technically is required to read :)

Back in late April, my sweet girl's health began heading down hill. Avery is 3 years old and feisty as anything. She's really, really funny and has such a sweet disposition. It all started with what the thought was a stomach bug... then the next week she hit the back of her head real hard and threw up some more which we thought was a concussion... then her tummy aches and vomiting continued but we thought this time it was a bladder infection... then antibiotics for that can certainly cause diarrhea so that had to be it... most of her vomiting took place in the middle of the night so we got her on some reflux medicine... it seemed to help for a little while but then her symptoms continued and worsened.

By the start of summer, I was really worried. Her tummy was bloated and she complained of it hurting every day. She began loosing weight. She lost color in her face. She lost her energy. I tried to avoid internet research but I was running out of options. She didn't want to eat anything. If she did she threw it up anyway. Several times she asked to go swimming after a three hour nap and after literally 10 minutes in the pool she was asking to go inside because she was too tired. I tried to suppress the anxiety I was feeling, but I kept telling Ronny, "This child is not well!!"

The last week of June Ronny went to Guatemala for a week. Avery ran high fever and vomited the whole time he was gone. I took her to the doctor mid week and it was ruled a virus and we had to wait it out. That one probably was just a virus but sure took a toll on her little body. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I knew deep down, something was really, really terribly wrong. Avery is tiny to begin with. She lost 3 pounds this summer. That's a whole lotta pounds when she was only 26 pounds to start with.

In an attempt to salvage a fun family weekend after Ronny being away, Avery being so sick, and the summer already feeling like the big fat disappointment I described the other day, I pulled together my birthday and spending money and we went to Great Wolf Lodge the July 4th weekend. That place is great fun and I highly recommend it, unless you're a very sick 3 year old who requests to nap in the room instead of play in the water and puts herself to bed during the fireworks we were watching out the window. Ronny and I both went to our family doctor with her the next day- a doctor we love and respect dearly and still do- and said, "thank you for not thinking that Avery is terribly sick and not worrying us unnecessarily, but we do believe she is very sick and we need some answers." He weighed her... and wrote in his notes "won't even play at the water park" and got serious. (He was also not the doctor who saw her with the virus the week before or I think he would have agreed earlier with our concern.)

Then, the tests began- stool samples, CT scans, x rays, blood work- we have to make sure it's not an obstruction, or tumor, or something really horrible like leukemia...

I could feel myself slipping into panic, the anxiety making my vision blur and my face feel hot and my own stomach turn over. I knelt down beside her bed at night and prayed and wept and begged God to heal her body. He never did let me fully go over to the panic and anxiety. Somehow, in a way only God can, He kept my feet from slipping. He preserved our sanity and gave us peace.One afternoon while I was praying for Avery while she was sleeping, God led me once again to Psalm 121

This was the same passage I read over and over again when Avery was a newborn and I was facing some post partum anxiety. I knew without a doubt that God was holding my little girl. That He could see her and He was holding her, watching over her and we were going to get some answers.

Finally, on July 11 we got the phone call from our doctor. Well after office the office was closed. While it had been a relief for all tests to continue to come back negative, that there was nothing wrong, we all knew there was something wrong and I wanted desperately a diagnosis that I could treat, fix, do whatever I had to do to make it better! We were waiting on one last blood test result. The antibody test that screens for Celiac Disease. The one we'd been waiting for as that had been mine and Ronny's gut feeling since May. Low and behold, it was positive. Very positive. And thus began our gluten free life!

I did cry upon diagnosis. A lot. No one ever wants to hear their child has a lifelong illness, however manageable. No one wants a label or a limitation or anything that makes their child feel different. Then I began unloading boxes of snacks and pasta and goldfish crackers into my trash can. It just made me feel better to rid my house of the poison! And I grieved and thanked God all at once.

We prayed for answers. For a solution to our problem. We prayed that God would heal her and that her little body would thrive once again. And God gave the answer- quit eating gluten! :) In 48 hours I had a different child. An energetic, happy, obedient, hungry child! We met with a specialist recently and we still have to do a biopsy of her small intestine to assess damage, but she has gained nearly 4 pounds, regained color in her face, and let me tell you, the energy is back! We know it will still be a few months before her body has totally healed and as long as she stays off of gluten products, she should have no further health issues. It really isn't that big of a deal.

I tell myself that over and over when I start to give in to the enormity of changing our lifestyle, it's not that big of a deal. It's not cancer. It's not anaphylactic even. It's just food. I've made gluten free lasagna, spaghetti and macaroni and cheese already. Our family really cannot tell the difference. Just use pasta made from rice or corn instead of wheat. It's not that big of a deal. I have a batch of gluten free cupcakes in the freezer that we pull out to take to birthday parties so she can have a cupcake like the other kids. We've already done it twice! It's not that big of a deal :)

Last week though I began to stress and worry about the future... how will Avery go to college and live in a dorm?! Everything in the cafeteria will be cross contaminated with gluten! How will we ever go on vacation and eat out? Cooking at home is easy compared to eating out. How will we make the trip to Africa next summer that we've been planning for two years? How can I possibly keep her gluten free in a foreign country. FDA requires wheat to be listed as an allergen on any product that could have come in contact with wheat... will other countries follow that as well? Oh the eating anywhere but home totally stresses me. People don't get it. I picture this fine layer of wheat flour dusting everything in the kitchen! ;)

Then I heard the Holy Spirit so gently say, "It's just food." That's been my mantra this last month. Then He reminded me of a verse I've heard since childhood that actually is so profound and meaningful to our family right now. From Matthew 6: ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?^{... 31} So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

He knows what she needs. He knows it's just food and He will provide. No need to worry. He sees her and He cares. And when everyone else grows tired of me talking about it, or reading about it, or thinking about it. He's still going to care. :) About me and my girl. It lets me rest knowing the Father cares about her even more than I do. phew!

He sees me

2011-08-11T14:47:00.000-05:00

It's not been two full months since my last post, plus some. This wasn't exactly the summer I had planned and I found myself just trying to keep my head up. We're turning a corner now and I plan on a GREAT last week of summer before school starts next week :)

There were moments when I thought and actually said out loud, "this whole summer has just been one big fat disappointment". It was work, lots of it, for me. It was hard. Little things got to me and things didn't go like I had planned. I found myself slipping into feelings of depression and the thought would cross my mind, "nothing EVER goes like I have planned... nothing ever works out or lives up to my expectations." Part of the problem was that I set impossible expectations for anyone to live up to, especially small children who don't say, "mommy, thank you so much for all the work you did to make this week so much fun for me!" HA! I mean, whose children 5 and under say that?! That was a ME problem. Ridiculous really.

Then one afternoon, I'm sure in a foggy and woe- is- me state I picked up a book I've had for a while and began to read. Chapter two of Angela Thomas' book "Do You Know Who I Am?" touched a place so deep inside my heart that I found myself not just crying but heaving loud sobs as I read. Obviously it was something I was harboring deep inside but didn't even have the words for. I tried to talk to my mom about it that night but continued to just cry instead :). That was mid June. Maybe now I have some words to explain, I'll try anyway!

The author writes several stories I could relate to and some made me tear up and some made me giggle a little and then out of nowhere (to me) she says, "Maybe the experience that taught me the most about being invisible is being a mom... They [her children] became my world, and I didn't want it any other way (I agree!) then...Invisibility creeps in to cover your life. No one can see all that you do and the dreams that you dream. (I do dream.) Except for God. He sees. He sees you wander through the night retucking the princess sheets and the superhero blankets. He stands with you in the laundry room, cheering for you as you match the endless socks and take the extra minutes to work on the newest stains. He knows that you struggle with the monotony of one day after another, each one exhausting and without a measurable accomplishment. Not only does God see, but maybe it would help you to know that He is filled with great pride over how you sacrifice and love. He watches as you care for the ones He has entrusted to you. When you give to those who will forget to say thank you, (oh please don't miss this part-), all of heaven stands up to applaud you... Invisible and unseen, at least on this earth. But so very noticed by God." (italics are mine :))

There is a lovely mix of snot and tears running down my face as I retype those words. I didn't know I felt like that. I didn't think I should. I mean, I have great parents, and a fantastic marriage, and 3 wonderful blessings in my children.. I have great friends that include my incredible sisters. But when those words began to soothe a wound, a wound I didn't even know I had, well I knew the Lord was working on something. Suddenly, so many things came to my mind, places that I felt I didn't matter, places I thought I had been replaceable, unheard, or unneeded. Not in a way that my mind was flooded with depressing thoughts, but places God was bringing to the surface of my mind to tell me how those thoughts were lies. All of them. It would take me the next couple of months and into last week to fully grasp it all, but here I am at a turning point. Where I have truly been able to let go of those lies. To experience healing in those little areas that grew into great big places without my knowing. He is El Roi, the God who sees. Genesis 16:13 says of Hagar, "she gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her; "you are the God who sees me, for she said, 'I have now seen the One who sees me.'" I've known of God my whole life and Jesus as my Savior since I was 7, but this summer I saw the One who sees me. He sees me.

I griped about the same things over and over for months now and finally I feel some freedom. Freedom to be me and be my best self, and looking forward to what God is doing next. To just let some things go. Trusting God to turn things out for my best and fill me in ways I have been lacking. I trust Him to continue healing some legitimate hurts and to deal gently with my tender heart. I trust as I walk in obedience to rearrange some things in my life, that I will be satisfied by Him in ways I've never known. How I feel and who I am matter to Him. He sees me.
He sees my daughter, too... That post still to come :)

Finishing a great year

2011-06-03T22:47:00.000-05:00

On the first day of school back in August, I looked like this :
We managed to get a full week under our belts to establish some sort of routine, before we looked like this:The first few months are honestly a total blur and it was probably even second semester before I clued in. My big two were so immensely blessed with incredible teachers this year. I absolutely cannot believe how fast the year flew... or that Eli is already 9 months old... and that the year is already over!

I signed up for the last party of the year because I was certain by the time that May came along, I would totally have my act together. Well, as everyone knows, I don't have my act together, but I did manage to pull together a little luau perfect for a group of silly 5 year olds. :)
Avery finished up her Mother's Day Out days: Now it's on to preschool.

She gets more beautiful by the day.

Hudson wrapped up preschool: and is totally stoked for Kindergarten. (me, not so much) He is such a stud. I'm pretty sure he has a higher IQ than I do.

AND SUMMER IS HERE! Love it. Love summer. Love it every year since I have memory.

This one may be a challenge, however, so I'm curious to see how it's going to play out. We've now had 3 carefree days and I already know it's going to take some... patience and creativity on my part. First I have to get Eli and Avery napping at the same time so that I don't take cranky, tired children out in public but I don't sit home all day with a stir crazy 5 year old while Eli takes a morning nap, then Avery sleeps early afternoon, then Eli sleeps again late afternoon. Yep, that's the whole day... not gonna work every day all summer. I also don't want to take on 3 small children to the pool alone (that's just not safe) SO, who wants to go swimming with us?! (or sit here while Eli sleeps?! ) :)

Ronny has a full summer as always, but thankfully, a lot is local this summer and he won't be gone so much. Hooray!

Already I love relaxed bedtimes, snow cones and watermelon... and very little agenda. Now if I can just remember to do laundry and go to the grocery store...

Just keeps getting better

2011-06-02T22:31:00.007-05:00

He is absolutely the best baby ever. I mean it. I mean, my life isn't perfect, but my baby boy is.
If you find your heart is hurting sometime and you need a salve for that wound, come let him lay his head on your shoulder. I promise you'll feel better.Feel exhausted before you ever get out of bed? Come get this guy first thing in the morning. He'll be so happy to see you, that you'll forget how tired you are.
Feeling lonely? Come walk in my front door and watch this little dude speed crawl to you. You will probably laugh out loud in delight, just as he is doing as you pick him up.

Oh my baby boy, what did I ever do without you?!

Changing so fast!

2011-04-25T12:12:00.010-05:00

Before Eli turns 8 months old at the end of this week, I need to catch up and record his 7 months happenings!

He is changing so fast. It's ridiculous. One thing that has absolutely been different about my 3rd is how quickly time passes and how quickly he changes. I know it's the activity of the older two that makes it feel that way but he makes my head spin! He is absolutely the sweetest baby in the world. He's even slept through the night a couple of times this month! ;)

ELI:

loving puffs, nursing, pears, bananas... and eating in general. HALLELUJAH! May it always be!

crawling. standing. smiling at Elmo.

expoloring the contents of Easter eggs.

more handsome than ever.

snuggly. smiley. happy. love of my life.

This is my favorite picture ever of Hudson:He was almost 6 months old here. I tried to recreate it with Eli to see how much they would look alike. Eli has such a big noggin that the 6-12 month hat was too little for his 7 month old head :) Sure is precious though!
"TADA! It's good to be me!!" - Eli, 7 months

I love Texas in the Springtime, Baby

2011-04-16T11:37:00.005-05:00

Tidy

2011-03-28T15:12:00.008-05:00

I went by a friend's office the other day and opened up the back of my van to give her something. My white van was filthy with the yellow bloom dust we have going on here and as I opened the back, there was a straight shot through the car of a spilled bag of clothes to be dropped off at Goodwill, several old sippy cups, a stroller, a couple of jackets and lots of wrappers and junk that needed to find the trash. I didn't otherwise notice the mess until I was standing there with another adult, sure that she was judging me. She wasn't, but still. The wind was blowing my hair everywhere. Avery was crying for the bag of goldfish that Hudson was eating. All I could do was laugh and say, "um, sorry, my car's not very tidy." I'm not really bothered by mess, as most of you know. :) But on the way home I thought, you know, my life's not very tidy.

I feel really tired most of the time. I'm insecure about my appearance. I'm late pretty much everywhere I go. I hate that. One day rolls into the next and then we're out of milk and so Ronny runs to the store to get just what we need- milk, bread, bananas and yogurt- with the promise that I'll go for a big trip tomorrow. Next thing I know it's dinner time and I still haven't been and then we have to eat grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner or go out. Then I beat myself up that we're wasting money and calories at a restaurant because I couldn't get my act together.

I don't want to even get started on the closets and kitchen cabinets. Most people have a junk drawer... I have seven. Mercy.

I don't need to go on Hoarders or anything, but I could use about a week to purge this house of everything unnecessary. I'd also like to use that theoretical time to sleep for about a week.

Somehow, in his mercy, in the midst of all this untidiness, in the midst of this messy life I've built, God still speaks to my heart.

Well, now I'm tired of all the toys on the floor and the fact that the sink is never clean. I wish I could organize myself enough that I had time to shave my legs, blow dry my hair, and get where I'm going on time, all in one day. At the moment, Avery and Eli are asleep and Hudson is playing and I could be doing laundry or 1000 other things but here I sit writing about it instead of doing it. So I know I have a lazy bone (or 4). But there's something welling up in my heart that I gotta get out.

The last few weeks have been kind of difficult for me. I'll spare the details but it's just been a season of laying down some dreams, picking up some news ones, accepting some changes, following God's plan for me even if it doesn't look like I thought it would and trusting Him to fill my heart, satisfy my soul, bless my obedience. It's uncertain. So basically my inside feels just as untidy as my kitchen cabinets.

My mom gave me a few hours alone at home last weekend and it was glorious. Ronny was at a youth event and she had all 3 of my kids. I set my phone on the Kari Jobe Pandora station and really cleaned my house while the worship music blared. It felt so good. Pandora picked 3 hours of GOOD songs and it was a sweet time with the Lord. One song in particular, Emily had just sent to me the day before.- Ginny Owens' "If You Want Me To." "I'm not who I was when I took my first step and I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet. So if all of these trials bring me closer to you, then I will walk through the fire if you want me to." I wouldn't go as far to say that I'm in a trial by fire, however, I knew God was getting at something. The same song came on multiple times over the next few days. I had a couple of pointed conversations with people I trust. I asked God to really, really show me who I was in Him, because I felt like such a mess.

I thought I was free of all my insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. I really did. I really thought that this year I was finally, finally, so happy just being me. I really believed I was "there". I've discovered that I am in fact on that road. I am headed both feet facing in the right direction even - I'm just not all the way there yet. Turns out it's not an overnight deal ;). I beat myself up for a few days thinking I was moving backwards, when I really think God is just moving me farther along, uncovering a little bit more. It frustrates me until I realize that some things will just not be perfect until I get to heaven. :) And I'm going to need Him every day.

So then one day last week, I picked up a book that I bought a long time ago and finally started reading. God and His perfect timing again... "A Beautiful Offering" by Angela Thomas. I've read several of her books and love them and bought this one only because it was authored by her, not because I knew anything about it. She says, "At the very beginning of these life instructions [The Sermon on the Mount], Jesus let us know that our lives don't have to always be an over-the-top perfected effort. We won't always be singing 'I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.' How gently he teaches that even in our brokenness, this life can become a beautiful offering to God...Your life is a beautiful offering to God, even when you are poor in spirit, because then you are very close to the kingdom of heaven." I thought about a moment that forever sticks in my mind. About 4 days after my first baby was born, I was in my bathroom crying. I was in a lot of physical pain with a c-section I wasn't prepared for. I was in emotional pain getting over a dream birthing experience that did not come true. Unrealized dreams can break my heart and affect my self worth as fast as anything. I sat down and cried, "Please God, will you lift my head? Please God will you be near? I NEED YOU NOW." Now five years later I get affirmation that that moment (or the thousand others like it) was not a moment of failure but a moment of kingdom victory. In my weakness, He was strong. In my brokenness, He was comfort. I was blessed in that moment. My cries to Him were in fact a beautiful offering.

She goes on to write a whole chapter called "Being Yourself":

"You are blessed when you learn to be content with who you are and how I made you... I put you together. The introverted countenance was my idea. I realize your limitations. I am aware of your personality type. I am the Designer. Just look at Me and rest in both your strength and your weakness. You are blessed when you can't be more, because I can. Turn in my direction and be the woman I created. She is a beautiful offering."

I may not be very tidy. In fact I know I'm not. Not on the inside and not on the outside. I strive for more. I hope to grow. But today, I'm just me. Mess and all. Doing the best I can and loving my God with all my heart. The best part is, He's pleased.

Bye bye thumbs!

2011-03-21T14:54:00.001-05:00

I've announced on fb that my children no longer suck their thumbs and several have asked me how we did it. So here's the boring as all get out post with the details :).

Mentally, I had to decide it was time and consistently stick with a plan. The kids had to decide they wanted their reward bad enough to comply.

We had to think up a reward worth it to them. For my kids, it was "build a bear." They had never been and Hudson LOVES animals and Avery loves whatever Hudson loves. The idea of getting to make his own stuffed animal and even make it roar was finally something he could get on board with!

In order to earn the trip to build a bear, they had to go 5 days in a row without sucking their thumb once. It took a total of about 2 weeks for Hudson and a little longer for Avery to earn 5 straight days. If you suck once, you start over on consecutive days :) Each day earned a sticker on a calendar- mini sticker reward each day with big prize at the end.

How did we know if there was middle of the night sucking? Thumbs were wrapped in medical tape! Not to be cruel or mean but as a reminder for subconscious sucking and to help them along on the goal they set for themselves. They wanted build a bear so we wrapped their thumbs in tape to help get them there!

Hudson earned his first... Well, the next day we saw him sucking his thumb! He then admitted to sneaking sucks when weren't looking. Ugh! I felt so defeated! We had to take his grey wolf away :( No one wants a reward he hasn't earned, right?! 5 days later, he earned him back and has been thumb-sucking free ever since! Here is "Wolfie, a limited edition grey wolf!"

I also took Avery to get her nails done at a salon where the nail tech painted sparkly flowers on her thumbs. They were so pretty that she didn't want to suck them off!

Her thumb sucking was way more constant so I really thought it would be harder to break... Turns out she was scared of the nail place and didn't want to go back there to get the flowers back on so she didn't suck on it! Ha! I was going for more positive reinforcement than fear, but it worked!! Meet "Clara- Belle, a fudge pup princess":

After nearly a week of taping and nail painting and sticker giving, the habit truly was broken. There were no tears! No permanently bucked teeth. No more germy thumbs in their mouths. (I would cringe every time Avery would dig in dirt at a playground and then stick her thumb in her mouth in the car before we could get home to wash!)

AND, I have 2 kids very proud of themselves!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Half birthday baby!

2011-03-17T15:56:00.001-05:00

My sweet Eli is 6 months old! He loves to sit up and play with toys. Loves his exersaucer. Seriously loves his big brother and sister. He is such a happy, smiley, content baby and has the best hard belly laugh. But he doesn't give that laugh to just anybody or very frequently at all- you really gotta earn it!
He is slowly dropping lower on the growth chart. I'm not surprised. That's what we do. He's perfect in every way so I'm not the least big concerned. That's how I grow 'em. I don't know what the rest of you people feed your babies! Rocks?!!

We had his baby dedication at church a couple of weeks ago. My good friend, Adrielle sang a song I requested as Eli's song, a perfect for any baby song, called "Hold on to Jesus." so so special! All 4 of my grandparents and Ronny's grandmother were there. My parents and Ronny's mom as well as my aunt, uncle and cousin from Tyler and my sister, Emily were also there along with our beloved church friends. Our dear friends, the Beelers joined the family for lunch at our house. We had a wonderful day celebrating Eli and publicly praising God for his life!! I have lots of pictures to post one day if I can ever get my computer to connect to the internet. Ugh. Phone blogging is not fun.

But my sister, Annesa requested an update!

Eli has slept all night twice in his whole life. Accidentally apparently. Now he actually includes mamama in his middle of the night cries making him completely irresistible.

He has changed our lives in so many ways, for the better and I am so deeply in love with him!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

He has my heart

2011-02-06T23:29:00.007-06:00

You know how "they" are always saying that you don't record everything about the third baby... don't take as many pictures... don't write it all down... I was so determined that would not be me. I didn't even get it why that would ever be the case. I mean, I love him every bit as much as I love my first two. But alas, I was struck tonight with the bitter truth. No mass emails. No blog posts. Nothing since Eli was 2 months old. Geez, he's 5 months now. I've put a few pictures on face*book and I've taken loads of pictures and videos on my phone-- does that count?! Oh wait, I did blog when he was 4 months... my brain isn't functioning at full capacity... and I honestly forget what I've blogged in my head while I'm falling asleep at night and what I've actually typed. Bless my heart.

5 months!

I have two FULL calendars of the first two years of Hudson's life. I have one full calendar of the first year of Avery's. I blogged very faithfully after that. Poor, poor little Eli. I have a calendar and I try real hard to write down everything. My blog posts are scarce to non :(. But please let the record show-- I absolutely adore my baby boy. I really, really, really wish that he slept longer at night :) But he completely has my heart. I have time with him daily to just snuggle and kiss his cheeks and make him giggle and that is more important than bragging about it online, right?! :) In fact, I don't get much done at all, because he kicks his legs real hard when he sees me and flashes his drooly grin, so I stop everything to just pick him up and be with him.

The snow made a perfect backdrop!

He is so snuggly and can sit up when propped like a tripod. He rolls both ways and always ends up on the yucky carpet and off of his nice soft blanket. He is so patient and sweet. He gobbles up little bits of baby oatmeal. He laughs hard at his brother and sister. I'm going to give it my all to defy the odds and take more pictures... Because he deserves it. He gnaws on my face to say "I love you." He looks at me like I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. I think I look at him the same way!

Nu thang

2011-01-22T10:47:00.003-06:00

Remember the old school DC Talk song- Nu Thang :) "You know He's doin it... Yo who's doin it...God is doin a nu thang... " Oh my word, I sat down to write just now thinking of the scripture Isiah 43:19- "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." And that song popped into my head. I wonder if it's embarrassing to Toby Mac that people like me still know that song?! :) Also, let it be a gentle reminder that it does matter what you put in your head, even when you're 12, because here at 31 years old, those lyrics still go through my mind... ANYWAY...

My good friend Marsha was sharing right before Christmas about some huge steps her family is taking to follow God's call on their lives. Big steps that will change things for forever. And I remembered a post on a blog that I love when the writer said she and her husband "never set out to live the American dream, but alas, we [they] are." That statement stung and has stuck with me for several months...

When I was asked my senior year of high school where I hoped to be 10 years from then, I said confidently (and rather naively) that I would be in Romania, running a home for orphaned children, or somewhere else equally as important :) I majored in Child and Family studies in college with the end goal being a home for orphans in some developing country. Instead I live in the town I grew up in, have 3 (perfect!) children of my own, live in a nice house and drive a mini van. I'm happy, we're in ministry, I still walk with Jesus ;) and I do NOT believe that I've missed at all God's plan for my life or anything crazy like that, but I've been thinking a lot this year... with the birth of my 3rd child and approaching my 10th wedding anniversary... this IS my life. I'm not waiting for the next big thing anymore because I've gotten all those "big things"-- College? check. Marriage? check. Babies? check. Live overseas? check.

Sometimes it feels like our two years in Africa were what my upbringing and life were always pointing to and then when that was over... hmmmm, now what?

My life is good. Real good. But there has to be more for me than "a real good life." I used to dream big dreams and trust that God was big enough to fulfill those dreams. And while growing older has taught me the difference between fantastic day dreams and reality, I want to remember what it felt like to adventure with God. Adventure with God with my incredible husband and children. I want my children to experience adventure with Him. I want more for all of us.

So, without Ronny's knowing, I began to pray a simple prayer. "Shake things up, God. Shake me up." I admitted this to Ronny very recently and his response, "First of all, don't pray things like that without telling me! ;) Second, I want Him to shake us up, too." Neither of us have a very articulate way to say what "Shake it up" means for us yet but I feel like those are the words God's given me to pray. And I'm trusting Him to do it.

The things is, I don't believe He has to take me back to Africa to shake things up. I believe He's doing some shaking, right now, in my spirit, in my marriage, in my church, in my own back yard so to speak, and it makes my heart beat a little faster!

I like this

2011-01-15T12:42:00.001-06:00

Every stage of development my children have gone through have had their pros and cons. Most of it honestly has been enjoyable and there is something I love about each phase. Of course there are things I'm not sad to leave- like nursing every two hours around the clock. There are sweet infant times for sure, but not that! :) Anyway, as I see them leave a stage, there's a bit of grief and sadness in me knowing we won't get those particular days back, but there's always excitement about what lies ahead, too.

I got a little sad when we left behind cute little sign language signs and Robeez soft soled shoes but I love having conversations with real words and watching my kids run and play in tiny Nike's.

(And it's real fun to be getting to do it all again with baby Eli!)

I honestly believe though that where we are right now is truly unique and special-- I love the newness and wet kisses of my newborn son. I love his innocence and when milk dribbles out the side of his mouth when he grins at me while he's nursing. I love the imagination of my 3 year old daughter and how she loves to paint, dance and make herself laugh.

Just yesterday I discovered we are suddenly in a new place with my now 5 year old son. Five seems so old :). He is so helpful and independent. He can unlock the car and help buckle his sister in. He can take a shower and get himself completely clean without help. He sings to the baby to entertain him if I need to finish up something and Eli needs someone just to pay attention to him :). He also loves to snuggle with me and he still tells me all about his day. He still kisses me in public and holds my hand! He is the perfect blend of growing up independence and sweet baby boy. I LOVE IT.

I love watching him learn to read and the excitement on his face when he sounds out a new word. But with this new learning is coming something I wasn't prepared would grip me so deeply... His love and understanding of God. I've prayed every day of my children's lives that God would teach their little hearts how to love Him. Because when they love Him, following and serving and obeying will overflow from that. Several times now I've gone into Hudson's room to see him surrounded by all of His stuffed animals on the floor. And when I ask him what he's doing he says he likes to talk to God there. One night when I checked on him before he went to sleep, he told me he was just asking God to help him to know how to follow Him. "Teach me to follow You," he said with his eyes squeezed shut tightly :)

I know I've said it before, but I think I mean it this time! ;) This is my favorite stage yet. The simplicity and child like faith that teaches me. The stakes have suddenly been raised and that's scary. But God has set eternity in our hearts and I love watching Hudson discover that and wait in excited anticipation for Avery and Eli to learn that, too.

Yes, I like this very much.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Given Over

2011-01-04T14:13:00.000-06:00

The first words I heard when Eli was born came from my wonderful doctor, "Oh wow, did you see that? (to Ronny) Someone is looking out for him..." Eli's umbilical cord was tied completely in a knot and then wrapped around one of his arms. My scheduled c-section was suddenly not so frivolous. I nodded my head, tears streaming down my face, oh yes, Someone was in fact looking out for my son. (Sometimes terrible things I can't even type at the moment happen to beautiful, innocent babies and mommies and that doesn't mean that God wasn't looking or watching or caring. That is just simply not my experience, so I can only retell what my story is.)

Before I even got pregnant with Eli, while Ronny and I were deciding on baby #3, I had a short conversation with God during a share time with my ladies bible study. My friend, Adrielle was sharing about God asking her yes and no questions. Questions like "do you trust me?" or "do you love me?" It's either yes or it's no. It's not, "well yea I trust you, but..." I was listening to her intently when I heard the Lord ask me, "do you want another baby?" I had been so back and forth in my mind for so long, for the change I knew it would bring our family, my current way of life, me. I weighed the pros and cons for several months as though I really was in control ;). But then He asked me flat out and all I could answer was "yes."

I found out I was in fact having a third baby about 6 weeks after that. No time to change my mind. :) No way to talk myself out of it... No turning back. Of all the things I don't yet understand about God, one that comes up over and over and is I don't understand how he chooses what each woman's fertility path will be. I'm sensitive to that. But for me, that time, it was fast and easy. Grateful is too small of a word.

I had pre-natal anxiety this time instead of post-partum. Constant fear over the life of my baby early on in pregnancy. I prayed the scriptures, I turned it over to the Lord daily. And he spoke to me in that. One day when I was well into my second trimester in the middle of a full blown panic, I got a text from my dear friend, Claire-- she said while she was watching me hold my baby belly and sing in church that Sunday that she began to pray for Eli and me and that God told her that Eli was going to be mighty for His kingdom and to keep praying for him.

Just a few short weeks before Eli was born, a sweet elderly lady in our church stopped Ronny at Starbucks one morning and told him a very similar story... "A prophet" I believe she called my not-yet-born baby.

Well we brought Eli home after 4 long days in the hospital and our new normal tried to begin. I hurt, I was exhausted, and I was too afraid to tell anyone how afraid I was. My hormones did their normal crash. I cried for no reason, frequently. I swore to myself that I would never recover from another c-section (I did that twice before, too!) But I did my best to maintain my perspective. To remember what a gift I had even though it was so hard. I smiled and told everyone I was OK. and I was OK, but I wasn't my best.

When Eli was 10 weeks old, I went with a few friends to a borrowed lake house for a weekend away. Of course my little nursling came along and I LOVED having 2 days to do nothing but visit with friends and take care of my sweet baby. I was finding it hard to really bond with Eli while caring for two other very small children and this time away was exactly what I needed. It was good time with friends and good time with my baby boy. That alone could have been enough, but just like God, He gave me more than I even imagined or asked for.

The Sunday morning of our lake weekend, my dear friends Marsha and Angela planned a morning of worship and singing. We brought our favorite songs and played them loud and sang along. Eli snuggled against me in his Baby Bjorn and I had total freedom in that moment to take place in cooperate worship. It had been at least 10 weeks since I had done so. The best thing about these friends is that we could all sing along and no one was looking at the other. In fact, I have no idea what anyone else was doing in that moment. And once again, it's just like God, to meet us each where we are and speak to our hearts as if each of us was the only one in the world!

As we got to probably the second or third song, God began to say to me the verse Hannah spoke over her son Samuel (who went to live with the priest Eli, who truly had no weight as to why my son is named Eli!) Anyway, in 1 Samuel 1:27-28 Hannah says of her son, "For this boy I have prayed and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him. So I have also dedicated him to the LORD; as long as he lives he will be given over to the LORD." God asked me in that moment to proclaim that out loud over my son, "All of his life he will be given over to the Lord."

Something broke in that proclamation. The darkness lifted from my heart. All of his life, he will be given over to the Lord. I confessed the "dark place" before God, the desperation I was feeling for Him. He met me there.

Baby dedication for me at our church has always been a significant time in my life and in the lives of my babies. There is something special and monumental about that moment that they are given over to God and prayed for by our church family. We will go though the formality of that, I'm sure, but I know, on that Sunday at the lake, my son was dedicated to the Lord, by this mama who loves him deeply and knows both mine and Eli's need for a Savior.

God met me in my dark place. He called to my memory the prayers of Claire and the little old church lady, who pray for Eli to be great for the kingdom. He reminded me of the doctors words the moment Eli was born. He reminded me that I said, "yes." And as we sang the words, "It's been a long night, and I am weary..." He said, "I know." We sang, "In the middle of the night, my heart yearns..." and I felt like He smiled because He knows I'm awake in the middle of the night a lot and that was very literal for me! I also knew He was using those long nights to bring me to a new place of dependence on Him. His timing of giving me Eli was impeccable, which is just like Him.

Now that Eli is 4 months old and still wakes up in the night a lot, I really don't feel that anger, exhaustion or desperation that I felt before. I have fallen completely head over heals in love with my baby, as I've learned to love God more deeply. And when I lean down to kiss Eli, he smiles with his whole face. Then he puts his hands on either side of my face and pulls me towards him. He sucks on my chin a little and licks all over my face, all the while drooling and giggling. I feel so loved by my baby boy in that moment, and so loved by my heavenly Father.

Good Enough

2011-01-02T11:53:00.003-06:00

I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time reflecting on the past year. Not right now. I kind of already know that it's just a blur of pregnancy and newborn, not that that is "reducing" my life or year in any way because my pregnancy and my newborn were incredibly significant and wonderful, a true gift. But pretty obvious at the same time :). I used to think about and sometimes blog about stuff that mattered- real issues not just post after post of the surfacey things like I have this last several months if I've even blogged at all... There's been a couple of big things on my mind and I haven't taken the time to hash them out so I've just been silent. But here's the deal.

If there is one single area of my life to point at that rolls all my issues into one, or brings up everything ugly in my heart, it's motherhood... And the fear of failing at it, which would make me a failure of the very worst kind in my mind. With each of my children it seems I have started at square one with my journey with the Lord through these fears... Each child has brought out something different for me to deal with before God, but it all comes down to a giant place in my heart afraid to fail.

In 4th grade I just knew that I wouldn't be able to face the "major league" pitchers in little league so I chose to play in the minors. It didn't matter that my dad told me I could do it or other dads and coaches wondered where I was on try out day. I was afraid, so I set expectations of myself low. I excelled in the minors that year :) but never played another season of softball. I just didn't think I was good enough.

In 7th grade basketball try outs, I made it to the last day and then clearly remembering thinking to myself, what if I miss a lot of shots, what if I make my team lose, I got scared and I never told anyone this... But I threw the last day of try outs. I goofed around and missed lay ups on purpose and let players get past me while playing defense. I'm not saying that I was the best player midway middle school ever had but I was good enough to make the team. It's no surprise though that I ended up as manager that year. I actually loved that because I got to be at all the games and a part of the sport without ever feeling the fear on the court.

My sisters on the other hand, the fearless ones, the better athletes, excelled in both softball and basketball through high school. I willingly and gladly went to every game and tournament all over the country to support them. I love my sisters and I love sports so there was no sacrifice on my part to do that. And truly no resentment towards them either.

Never have I let myself wonder what might have been if I had really given it my all. I poured myself into other things- school choir, church youth group- great things and I have no regrets, well some, but maybe I'll get to that later... Never have I let myself wonder if maybe I could have been a 12 year old midway all star too, like my sisters, not until this year... And sometime recently, now 20 years later, something clicked in my brain and I got so mad at myself for quitting, for being content to sit on the sidelines.

Church youth group was my place to shine. That was my safe place. I loved every minute there and it loved me. I was "successful" on the third floor of my church and every good memory I have of high school was with those people. In fact I loved it so much and was so safe that I continued to work there through college. That's the oxymoron about me... See I fear failure terribly and tend to therefore walk away from things, lots of things, most things, that I could be hurt by or fail at, but I also have an intense dislike for change. So while it was time to move on from the youth group, I feared the change so much that I stayed. And over stayed. That over- staying took my successful place and made it a huge failure. That, still breaks my heart.

One of the most amazing things about God is His ability and desire for redemption. The redemption of our souls from ourselves first and foremost but also His generosity to redeem the little things, too.

First, in a time when looking back, I was not at all as wise or mature as I thought I was, God sent me and Ronny to work with a precious youth group in Namibia. It still surprises me that I ever left home. Thank God He made it irresistible because one of the many, many things revealed to me there was that I was in fact good at youth ministry. I was a good teacher and leader, mentor and friend. He redeemed the failure of those college days and renewed in me his call over my life. Youth ministry looks different for me now that I have three very small demanding children but that's another story and something I'm still actively sorting through with the Lord :). Bottom line-- God graciously called me and equipped me and I was plenty good at it.

That's why Zumba was such a big deal to me and so hard for me to leave this summer. God used my teaching Zumba so powerfully in my life to get me off of the sidelines and into actively living -both figuratively and literally. No longer just cheering from the stands. No longer afraid to be in front. No longer afraid that I would be bad at it or no one would like me. Well of course I had those fears but God continued to push me to do it, to see, in His mercy, I am in fact good enough. I'm not the best instructor in the world or even this small town I live in, but I am good enough.

So this year, my goal is to live my life. To lay down the fear of failure day by day and live. I am not a perfect mother or a perfect wife or perfect friend, but I am good enough. I am a good mother. I'm a good wife and I'm a good friend. And I'm getting better all the time :)

In God's perfect timing my mother gave me a wonderful book that I began yesterday, on new years day, called "cold tangerines" by Shauna Niequist. I could quote the entire first chapter and nod my head along with it, as though I were the writer myself. It's the idea of waiting for the "big moment" for life to begin. She says, "this is it. In the best possible way. That thing I'm waiting for, that adventure, that movie-score-worthy experience unfolding gracefully. This is it. Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks, in our houses and apartments, in our beds and at our dinner tables, in our dreams and prayers and fights and secrets- this pedestrian life is the most precious thing any of us will ever experience... I don't want to wait anymore. I choose to believe there is nothing more sacred or profound than this day... You are more than dust and bones. You are spirit and power and image of God. And you have been given today..." That is merely one excerpt of chapter 1 of a book I am now more than half way through and is, honestly, changing my life. God is bringing to the surface those things that lie behind. Not to ridicule me but to remind me of His redemption. To remind me He's been there all along...

To teach me that He made me- my personality and my inclinations. He is not surprised by my fears nor does He want me to be someone I'm not. He does however want to mold me to the best possible version of myself, a reflection of Him. So I just have to put this out there. To say this is me, only a small part of my story, but mine non-the-less. And maybe just someone out there needs the encouragement to get off of the sidelines of life and start living it. In freedom. I'm gonna. Because of God's divine goodness, I'm good enough.

5 years old!

2010-12-13T17:11:00.011-06:00

December 13, 2005- the most significant day of my life. If you've read by blog long, you know it wasn't the best day :) but absolutely significant. Defining. The day I became a mommy. I would never be the same again. This tiny little 8 pounds, 5 oz bundle of goodness changed everything.

I've spent five years learning how to function on very little sleep. How to sneak vegetables into macaroni and cheese and creatively shape sandwiches and such so that children will actually eat. How to jam in the car to The Go Fish Guys and how to worship to Praise Baby songs. How to thrive on a schedule that never revolves around me. How to take deep breaths and long baths when the annoyance level grows and the stress mounts. AND, how to live when my heart is so full of joy, I feel like I could just burst into tears at any moment :)

Today, my favorite first born son turns 5 years old. All he wanted was to go hunting with daddy. He was so cute I could hardly stand it. While I was a tad sad that his birthday dream had nothing to do with me, I'm so incredibly grateful for a husband/daddy who will teach my son how to be a good man. AND, I packed him a lunchable and juice box that he enjoyed in the blind, because he is after all, still my little boy.After an evening hunt that produced nothing but a dead racoon, we went to Chili's and ate dinner- all 5 of us out to eat together! And it was a success!

I do know I still have so very much to learn... one thing I will never learn is to drink my water after one of my children has drunk out of it. I can do vomit, diarrhea, snot, and blood... but I don't do food floaties.

Trimming the Tree

2010-12-05T21:04:00.001-06:00

We put our little artificial tree up the day after Thanksgiving and finally decorated it this afternoon.

Next year we will most definitely invest in a new tree, but for now the kids are happy so so are we!

This year they really seemed to get excited about the ornaments that they had made. They loved the ones with their names on them and especially the "first Christmas" ones, reminding me to buy one for Eli!
Hudson's favorite:

Avery's favorite:

We only lost one glass ornament in the process

and one skiing Santa lost a ski and part of his leg. His glue is drying.

There is a small portion the kids can reach so the ornaments are densely populated there! I think some are even sharing a branch :)

I love my nativity sets so very much. One is the Willow Tree Nativity that my mother in law got for me over about three Christmases until I had all of it. The other is handmade, hand painted from South Africa. And the kids have their own Little People set that they LOVE to play with and tell the story of Jesus' birth.

Otherwise, it's way time for me to get some new Christmas decor. The same sad Santa I bought the first year we were married at HEB does not need to still be on my fireplace! This is the 10th christmas that Ronny and I have celebrated as a married couple. It's time for some nicer decorations :). Something about this 10th year of marriage and 3rd baby have convinced me to be more of a grown up :) and what was cute and fun about being a young, poor, newly married couple... that same decor is now just sad! Ha!

Someone remind me to shop after Christmas sales for next year...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

3 going on 16

2010-11-29T19:49:00.001-06:00

I was getting ready to go to my parents house for dinner on Sunday evening, Avery's birthday. When I walked into the living room to gather the family to leave, this is what I saw. She told me she was texting her aunt Nesa :) She was even sliding her little finger along the keys. Apparently her Little Mermaid phone is a touch screen. And she clearly dressed herself. I sure do love this little princess!
We had a fun day celebrating her. Her face was so priceless Sunday morning when she realized she was finally 3 years old! We're having a combo friend party for her and Hudson later. We celebrated with the family last weekend. That way, her birthday gets to last for about 3 weeks! That's how we like it around here :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone--- look, Autumn!! :)

Phone Photos

2010-11-27T21:17:00.012-06:00

The best thing about my previous post is by putting it on my blog, shutterfly sent me a $25 gift card! sweet!

My blog is being terribly neglected. I refuse to let it go completely because it's the closest thing I have to a journal/scrapbook. I've been putting a lot more on facebook lately because it is really quick and I can do it from my phone.

I love my phone. A whole, whole lot and I use it to take most of my pictures, too. Again, not the best quality but because it's fast and always accessible. So here are a few of my favorite phone photos from the last month or so.

Tomorrow my princess will be 3 years old. While she is at times more challenging than ever, I love, love, love watching her grow from a baby to a little girl over the last year. She is absolutely hilarious. I completely enjoy her presence and I LOVE dressing her :) My sister, Emily gave her the darling gray Gap jeggings in the above photo. She loves to wear pretty dresses and grown up clothes and flip her hair around like she's grown. This particular afternoon, she was outside blowing bubbles in her new clothes. She's so beautiful, so sweet and so wonderful and I'm so proud to be her mom.

We spent Thanksgiving with Ronny's mom and grandparents at his grandparents' house. They are sweet, sweet people that we don't see nearly enough. This was the first time they met Eli. Ronny's Poppa told him that Eli was the best lookin' Holland (their last name) that he'd seen in 90 years! :) Eli completely charmed them- smiled and cooed and was the most precious little thing you've ever seen. I like when he turns it on like that! ;)

Hudson loves to take pictures with my phone as well. He's turned into quite the model actually, wanted to pose for pictures, too. It's so funny cause I have a whole years worth of pictures that he is turned around backwards or covered his face or had to be bribed with m&ms. Now he loves picture taking. I'll take it- he's so handsome at nearly 5 years old! And he LOVES his "baby boo bear" (his new name for Eli!) This was just one afternoon that Hudson was playing with the phone and his baby brother and asked me to take their picture :)

At Hudson's Thanksgiving party at school, one of the moms brought the "thankful turkey craft". Hudson told us he was thankful for his whole family, his friends, his new shoes (early birthday present), and lions (doesn't even surprise me anymore. this kid is crazy about lions and anything to do with Africa or animals). Awww, too sweet. What a great kid! Then he colored the turkey's body with a red crayon and said, "Now I SHOT that Turkey so we can eat it!" I laughed my head off. He's all boy. The greatest boy ever. Well, I guess he has to share that title now!
With this guy: oh my sweet, sweet baby boy. I knew I loved him the minute I met him, but I just fall more and more in love with him all the time! Seriously, I am so crazy about this kid. I had to adjust... a little... ok, a lot... when he was born, but I seriously cannot imagine my life without him. He's rapidly approaching 3 months, still doesn't even come close to sleeping through the night and I just don't even care anymore :) That's the big question everyone asks as though to measure my parenting abilities or his achievements as a baby! Whatever... He is snuggly and precious. His coo-ing and smiling make me tear up 12 times a day. He is starting to giggle. He taps my back with his pudgy little hand while he's nursing. And he's turned into a pretty laid back baby. I am so glad he's mine.
All of them. SO glad they're mine!

christmas card 2010

2010-11-19T10:54:00.001-06:00

Family Wall Noir Christmas Card

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Fall Festival 2010

2010-11-03T15:02:00.007-05:00

I'm not a huge fan of Halloween and never went trick or treating growing up. We did always have a fun fall festival at the church to go to so we still got to dress up! And I did trick or treat as a teenager once (pathetic, right?!) and have even taken my children a time or two. I think Halloween can be totally innocent and fun for the kids to dress up as their favorite things and eat candy and play games and just be kids!

This year, Halloween fell the day after my sister's wedding and I would have been tempted to skip it, but my dear husband was in charge of the Fall Festival at our church. And our church hadn't put on a festival in many years and we had to really ask hard for it, so we wanted it to be a success! Let me say right off, it was a total success! My husband the youth pastor, plus the preschool minister, plus a couple of awesome invovled moms did a GREAT job! Lots and lots of volunteers and hundreds and hundreds of participants in and around our church's new life center... inflatibles, carnival games, a hay ride, a mechanical bull, face painting, balloon animals, popcorn, and plenty of candy! It was just wonderful!! I LOVE seeing our church so FULL of people and see it being used to reach the surrounding neighborhoods as it's building is intended.

Anyway... our costumes this year were really low maintenance. (remember, "newborn" and "sister getting married"...)

Meet Diego, Dora, and Boots the Monkey:

Go, Diego, Go! Diego kept his stuffed baby Jaguar with him the entire night. I knew I would end up carrying him, but nope, he bounced in the bounce house, slid down the inflatible slide, and made it through the obstacle course! My poor boy fell really hard that afternoon at home and busted his nose and mouth on the corner of the door facing into the hallway... there was so much blood I didn't know if he'd knocked out teeth or broken his nose... he cleaned up well and quickly and ended up with just a really fat lip and slightly swollen nose. And you can hardly even tell in the pictures! He was ready to party a couple hours later, thank goodness!!

Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer! Posed and prissy and adorable!

I did not get any pictures once we got to the church :( but I got some to document the occasion. Eli stayed in his about 10 minutes and wasn't real sure about it! He's such a cutie patootie. And he enjoyed a quiet evening at home with his grandparents while the other two played at church! So Dora was without her Boots, but she didn't seem to mind :)

My big two would only answer to those names for the night. They had so much fun and that makes for a happy mama!

Eli is 2 months old

2010-11-01T20:05:00.007-05:00

I have much to say about my sister's beautiful wedding on Saturday and plenty of cute pictures of all three of my kids at the church fall festival on Sunday. But for now I just have time for a few little pictures and short update on my littlest man! Yesterday Eli turned 2 months old. He grows more and more fun every day. Hudson and Avery are still absolutely nuts over him and have nicknamed him "baby bubba" :). Eli is smiling all the time now and cooing some. It makes the big kids' day for him to smile at them! He loves bath time and snuggling most of all. He is making progress in the sleep department but doesn't quite have the hang of it yet ;). We made it through a tough battle with thrush and he's now my champion nurser again- hallelujah! He loves to be carried and held and hates to be strapped in to his carseat! But he's learning to enjoy the bouncy seat and baby einstein play mat. He does love to be on me in the baby Bjorn carrier. I certainly don't want my hands free all the time, but sometimes is nice :). We won't see the doctor until Thursday for his well baby visit, but last time we were there a week ago, he weighed about 11.5 pounds, maintaining his position on the growth chart. That's all fine and good for now but I don't expect him to stay there- mine never do! (And they're perfect in every way, just little :))We're feeling more and more "normal" all the time and while I would LOVE a good night's sleep, I wouldn't trade him for the world! He was SO good the whole weekend being passed from person to person during my sister's wedding festivities, so I do know he has an adaptability and low-maintenance quality in there somewhere! I sure do love this little dude. No question about that!

Quick trip to The Pumpkin Patch

2010-10-28T13:57:00.011-05:00

It's been a crazy month- with a new baby, Ronny's schedule and of course getting ready for my sister's upcoming wedding. We didn't make it to the Kaska Family Farm like we have the last couple of years. The one day we could go, the weather was bad with thunderstorms and a tornado watch! But, I still needed "fall pictures!" So we spent just a few minutes this morning at the pumpkin patch at the Christian Church in town. The kids think it's awesome, even though it's not very big. They thoroughly enjoyed the sunshine, the pumpkins and even cooperated great for pictures! Of course, Eli slept through the whole thing!

My two big punkins make their selections for purchase:

Hudson was in rare picture taking form- in that he kept posing and asking me to take his picture!

I think that pumpkin weighs more than Eli-- my sweet baby punkin :)
Totally a "token trip" but it made the kids happy! Its been a fast, happy fall so far!

Sic 'em Bears!

2010-10-23T16:50:00.004-05:00

Baylor Homecoming is always such a fun weekend, filled with great friends and great traditions. It makes me excited to think of when my kids are a little older, can stay up a little later and enjoy all the festivities!
This time, my dear friend Cheryl (former BU roomie) stayed with us Friday night. We went to Hudson's last soccer game and watched the Rangers whoop up on the Yankees (nice.) and skipped the bonfire because it was just too late for the kids. We all went to the parade this morning and that was all we really did before the weather got bad and kids needed naps. Yes, having older children in the years to come will make this particular weekend a little easier :) Eli slept on me in the bjorn the whole parade and the big kids loved the floats. Avery was afraid of the Nose Brothers but loved all the "princesses!" (homecoming queen nominees ridnig in convertibles throwing candy!) Hudson just loved watching it all from daddy's shoulder's.

It always feels good to be on campus and I love any excuse to hang out with Cheryl and dress up my kids in lots of green and gold!

Some Thoughts

2010-10-20T12:36:00.002-05:00

I haven't been doing a lot of blogging but I have been doing a lot of thinking!

1. As Hudson so nicely put it while trying to get out the door last Sunday-- "wow, 3 kids is a lot to handle!" I realize Michelle Duggar might disagree with me on that one :) but I also remember even her in an earlier show saying when her first 3 or 4 were little it was the hardest cause she didn't have her big kids to help. So I feel justafied :) Ronny kept all three kids one day last week while I spent several hours shopping with a friend and taking a little break. He said it wasn't that it was so hard, it's that it is so constant and draining. Agreed. So we're doing fine and I'll get the hang of it, but it is constant and I am tired :)

2 Don't tell a very tired, overwhelmed, concerned mommy, "this too will pass" or "soon they'll be all grown up" or "some babies are even harder than yours" with a big smile on your face. We know that. It makes us (me) feel petty and small to be brushed off like that. Please instead tell me, "yep, it's hard right now and I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry your baby cries a lot and doesn't sleep well. That's hard. It will get better, but I do understand it's hard right now." That, will instead make me feel understood, justified and that will make me feel better! :)

3. I must be doing at least a little OK because Hudson keeps asking when we're going to have another one. He wants there to be FOUR kids in the family. I'm glad he doesn't feel overlooked right now and I'm so glad he loves Avery and Eli that much! However, at this point, my heart feels very content with the 3 wonderful loves I have :)

4. I do constantly do my best to maintain perspective-- I am SO incredibly blessed to have had 3 healthy full-term babies in less than 5 years. I'm learning all the time- learning to depend on the Lord to be my strength and my song. Learning to turn to Him to be my peace. Remembering that He knew my nature and my temperament when he gave me my children. He knew their natures and their temperaments when He gave me to them. He knew what would be easy and what would clash and He put us together anyway out of His best for us all. And I am so grateful. Grateful for the life I've been so sweetly given and grateful that His mercy is new every morning.

I know I've thought about more things but that's all the time I've got for now...

The big 3-5

2010-10-06T10:04:00.000-05:00

Friday was Ronny's birthday. A milestone birthday. 35. phew- we are getting old! Well he is :) I am only 31! I've always cared a whole lot more about birthdays than Ronny has and have to convince him to celebrate at all. This year we have a newborn and I haven't had a lot of energy to convince him to do anything or the ability to plan anything big, so it was a low key, but special nonetheless, celebration! Ronny also spent the weekend at Baylor attending a huge worship conference put on by the David Crowder Band with all of his favorite speakers/teachers and bands so I feel like he's getting to do something he loves and out of the ordinary on his birthday!

I bought all the stuff to make a big breakfast on Friday forgetting that Hudson would be at school that morning so we put off the big breakfast until Saturday so he can be a part. The kids picked out their own cards for daddy-- totally their choice as you can see :) and also picked out what cake to make him. So, we had a giant chocolate covered donut cake (chocolate boxed cake mix with canned chocolate icing in a bundt pan-- not the tastiest but it sure was easy!)

Hudson also wanted to give daddy a new gun! So, he got a nurf gun that shoots balls out of it. The boys have had fun running around the house shooting each other!

Ronny and I gave up giving each other birthday, Christmas or anniversary presents a long time ago. We always celebrate the occassion together while usually using that money to buy what we want ourselves :) Honestly, Ronny's the only one earning any money anyway so he buys it all :) ha!

So imagine my surprise when my silly man bought ME an iPhone 4 on his birthday! I was so shocked I don't think I even gave him the excited reaction he was hoping for! I have always taken his hand-me-downs in this department (which has ALWAYS been totally fine with me) so for him to upgrade mine and not his... well, that's real love, folks.

So no big party but certainly a weekend to celebrate our husband/daddy/most wonderful man in the world!!

He better look out though--I will NOT have a newborn when he turns 40 and I WILL be throwing a slammin' party! :)

Soccer Stud

2010-10-02T09:00:00.000-05:00

Check him out-- my first born is playing soccer for the first time this season! And to say he loves it would be an understatement!! He wants to practice with Ronny all the time at home and wakes up each morning giving us the countdown to his next game. (He has a game this morning in fact!) We chose to let him play up this year (playing as a preschool/4 year old with all kindergarteners) so he could play with his good friend Sophie and Ronny could coach with her dad. Our friend Lucy is also playing up for the same reason. So these three who have been friends from birth are having a blast, as are the three coach dads! Hudson may be smaller (and younger) than the rest but he's scrappy and quick! (He's jersery #1 in the photo above!) He's learning the game and having so much fun. Ronny played competetively from the time he was Hudson's age through his junior year at Baylor, so there's no hiding his pride in watching his boy :). who I am kidding? I don't hide my pride either. We are both just so proud of who Hudson is and so glad he's ours! And we love cheering on the Green Gators!

A whole month!

2010-09-30T15:36:00.007-05:00

Look who is one month old today! The fastest and slowest month of my whole life ;)

But I must say we've turned a corner this week-- I'm feeling so much better and recovering very well from my c-section... Eli is sleeping more on his own allowing me to take care of my other two... he is no longer waking every two hours around the clock and we're getting a couple of 3-4 hour stretches at night, which is awesome... he's still a great nurser, for which I'm so thankful... he is growing and changing all the time, even given us a couple of real grins... big brother and big sister are still absolutely crazy about him :)... he's a great snuggler and his little soft breaths on my neck while he sleeps on my shoulder are absolutely priceless... I also conquered my very first outing with all three kids by myself today. It was an easy one :) We drove through Starbucks and Chick fil A for breakfast and then ate and played at the park. The morning was gorgeous and cool and we were the only people there. After a couple of hours, the heat and more people showed up so were out of there! :) Eli slept on my shoulder and the other two played super sweetly together-- Hudson caught Avery at the bottom of the slides and pushed her on the swings. To top it all off, my sweet cleaning ladies had the house spotless when I returned. Yes, the best money I will spend all month. I'm not ashamed to say so. GREAT day. It feels good after a month of being totally cooped up in the house to say, I had a GREAT day! :) And little by little, I'm getting the hang of this mom thing all over again... ! One thing is for certain, I'm totally in love with this crazy baby boy!

The Snowflake PJ's

2010-09-26T10:05:00.006-05:00

Hudson was born just two weeks before Christmas so naturally his birth announcement was our Christmas card. He had been given these sweet little red snowflake footies so the day we came home from the hospital we took his picture in those and hurried to get our cards out before Christmas!

Avery was also due in December (although she came Nov 28) so once again I got off easy not having to do birth annoucenements AND Christmas cards. We took lots of pictures of course in her beautiful Christmas dress at the ripe old age of 5 days :) and for fun, we put her in Hudson's jammies to get a comparison.

Now Eli is totally a summer baby. While due in September, there is nothing "fall" about our weather still! So I've done separate birth announcements for him and maybe I'll still do a Christmas card this year, we'll see! And one day, I'll get around to actually mailing his birth announcements.... but anyway, once again we put on the red snowflake footies, even though it is 100 degrees out, just to see :)

They're not identical but certainly related! And this is totally uninteresting to anyone but me, but I don't have a whole lot else to blog these days :)

Just in case I never actually get the birth announcements in the mail, here's a sneak peak at his sweet picture! He looks so innocent doesn't he?! Don't let him fool ya, he's got a good set of lungs on him! ha :)

The Adjustment Period

2010-09-13T21:16:00.006-05:00

I still believe in my earlier stance that adjusting from zero children to having a baby is the hardest adjustment of all. I know everyone's experiences are different but that's still true for me. Going from "childless to child" was the hardest thing I've ever done. Funny, it was a dream come true and all I ever wanted in life and it was still hard. Real hard. Harder than adjusting to college, harder than adjusting to marriage, harder than adjusting to living in Africa. Hard. Somewhere along the way though motherhood clicked with me... and it felt like what I was born to do. Hudson was probably a year old by then :) but still! Please know that the problem was not ever him, it was me and all of the changes that being a parent brought about in me. Well, OK, I'll be honest- it was him a little :) He cried a lot and he never slept and... well anyway...

Then Avery came along just before Hudson turned 2 and she was a piece of cake. The easiest dream baby you can imagine. I thought I could have 10 kids if they all acted like her. She slept independently, she cuddled well too, she was happy when she was awake and ate well. She slept all the time. :) Hudson did great with her joining our family and it really was the easiest, best transition I could have asked for. I was prepared for my c-section so no surprises there. Hudson and I were used to being home all the time as I wasn't involved in really anything at that point :) and he'd never even been to Mother's Day Out, so we were fine. I got proud and thought I must have this motherhood thing all figured out! (Then she turned 1 and things changed... ha!)

That brings us to baby #3... sweet Eli. Oh my sweet Eli. He's somewhere in between my two little extremists! He's my best nurser by far, which is awesome. My other two were good, too- Hudson just cried and pulled away every time my milk let down soaking us both... and Avery spit up buckets. Eli however is a textbook nurser! He sleeps decently. He of course would prefer to be held and I'd prefer to hold him were it not for two other littles demanding some attention and care! Some days he cries a lot and some days he sleeps all day... there's no "Eli always..." anything seeing how he's only been alive for 2 weeks! I think he's just a normal newborn. And we are doing alright. We're all a little more used to going and doing and being out of the house so I feel a little cabin fever sometimes, but as soon as I can drive again...! Ronny, my mom, my sister, my friends have been good to take Hudson to soccer and Avery to dance and have the kids over to play and such.

Soon I'll be recovered from my c-section and I'll be able to lay all the way down in my bed again! Some day Eli will sleep all night long and I'll get some rest, too. Soon my body will be back to normal and our lives will resume our new normal. For now, we're adjusting and that's all we're doing! Everything is about the baby and my home and how for it to be "normal." But I must say, we're adjusting quite well. :)

I mean, isn't he beautiful?

Eli's Birth Day

2010-09-06T21:54:00.004-05:00

My sweet baby Eli is one week old today! I'll do my best to (quickly, uhhh...) recap his wonderful birth day!
My c-section had been scheduled for Tuesday morning the 31st at 9 am for several weeks and I wanted so badly to make it to that time! I like things to go as planned and things rarely do, but I was really holding out for that day- my mom had her sub lined up for that day... my sister, Annesa could come to town starting Wednesday and I didn't want her to miss too much, my other sister, Emily would be back in town from a trip by then to be there for the event as well as help out with my older kids. It was all planned... and so for more than a week of contractions and back pain and worry :), I sat very still and prayed and prayed to not go into full blown labor! ha! Besides the fact that a c-section was imminent and who wants to labor and still have to have a c-section?! Not me :)

Last pregnant photo-- in fact leaving for the hospital and holding the big belly one last time!

And I nearly made it!! Beginning Monday morning I was having lots of contractions off and on. But that was normal for the last week and I prayed once again they'd stop. I made it through the day, got the kids packed to spend a few days at my parents house, did last minute cleaning and organizing around the house... Ronny came home from work and we ate dinner. I wasn't very hungry and was feeling worse and worse. I finally took a shower and we also bathed the kids and got them ready for bed and took them to my parents'. The plan was for them to sleep there and everyone to come up to the hospital about 8:30 the next morning. We got them tucked into bed at my parents house and hung out with my parents for a bit and headed home at about 10.

Around 11:00 pm my contractions got a whole lot more painful and I knew they weren't going to go away. I got ready for bed and hoped to get a little sleep before morning. I told Ronny to go on to sleep cause one of us needed to be rested :) and I layed in bed timing contractions-- once they were coming every 5 minutes and increasing in intensity, I woke Ronny up and told him we needed to head to the hospital. I did NOT want to labor a long, long time AND have a c-section so off we went. We checked in around 4 am and waited for the OR to become available. I hadn't slept a wink mind you. I woke my mom, who woke my grandparents. My grandparents came to her house to stay with my sleeping ones and mom, dad and Emily came up to the hospital. It was nice to have their company while we waited!

Finally, all the prep was made and off we went. It was 6:27 when we rolled into the OR and at 6:45 am I heard the sweet gurgly cry of my baby boy! There were several scriptures I had written on note cards for Ronny to read me during my c-section- to calm my nerves of being cut open... Of course neither of us realized that when he changed into his scrubs, he left the cards in his pockets of the shorts he took off :). But my memory served me well and Psalm 121- my favorite passage of all time- calmed my anxiousness. And the fact that Ronny was so nervous that he could recall NO scripture from his memory gave us a good laugh and distraction as well!

And then there he was. My beautiful third born. Perfect. Crying. Healthy. 8 lbs, 7 oz. 20 1/2 inches long. Head full o'hair! Looking an awful lot like his older brother. And only a few hours "early." :) I was very comforted that although Eli was not "born naturally", he did come the day that he was ready to come! And I loved the fact that he was ready the day I had written on my calendar! :)

He wasn't even in our room yet when my older two arrived and it was exactly as I dreamed it- Hudson and Avery peering through the glass in the nursery... and then running to greet his bassinet as he was wheeled into our room! They were giddy getting to hold him for the first time. And overall, they have done really, really well and so are so in love with baby brother.

It was an exciting day- lots of family and friends around to greet Eli into the world. And he is a perfect, snuggly, little bunting that I love so! Of course more pictures and stories to come!

A weekend for 4

2010-08-27T22:58:00.007-05:00

It dawned on me this morning that this was the last weekend we would have as a family of 4. I wanted to do something special for my big kids before we are "housebound" for a little while. We ended up going to On the Border for dinner, with a coupon for a free bowl of queso and free kids meals! Hudson ate his weight in chips and queso and was happy as can be :). Then we headed over to Kiddie Land. My parents took the kids there earlier this summer but Ronny and I hadn't been since I was pregnant with Avery and before that was sometime in my childhood. Not a lot has changed at Kiddie Land in the last 30 years... except the prices! Sheesh, that was an expensive outing- but the kids had a blast! It was actually humorous how much they enjoyed the little rides! Pilot Hudson!

No one else was there but us and the weather was even bearable so we had a perfectly pleasant evening. Please look at his face "flying" past me! I know the pictures are a little blurry but I only had my phone and was trying to capture the moment. I love seeing a REAL smile in pictures!

Avery's a little blurry here, too but she was smiling and waving and having such a good time!!

Daddy and kids on the carousel! Avery had one arm on the horse and one arm around Ronny :) Ronny was a good sport and rode the rides and train with the kids. Would you believe the lady at Kiddie Land wouldn't let me on the train?! :) When they got off, Avery said, "This is SO AWESOME!" And that was the point of my night!!

Ronny and Hudson then went to a football game that several of our youth group kids were playing and Hudson of course loved that! Avery and I stayed home and got ready for bed. :) We also enjoyed grapes, blueberries and chocolate chip cookies in bed while we waited for bubba and daddy to get home! On Friday nights the kids get to go to sleep in our bed, and tonight we had family slumber party while watching America's Funniest Home Videos- the kids love it :) Of course once they went to sleep, they had to go to their own beds... I mean I'm all about having a good time, but we all need our rest at this point, too!

Maybe I'm in for a real shock, but I'm not nearly as nervous about adding Eli to our world as I was adding Avery. When waiting for Hudson I was just downright clueless about the change and adjustment that was to come. (and I'm not saying it's like this for everyone but...) It was the hardest adjustment of my entire life. I LOVED my baby, no doubt, but it was really, really hard for me. I was really anxious about adding Avery because I loved my relationship with Hudson so much and I feared it being that hard again in the beginning. I didn't know how I was going to handle not having my one on one time with him. And it so wasn't that hard. What a pleasant surprise! I know how to balance them now. I know how to have one on one time with each of them. I know how to love more than one. I know how to take care of a newborn. And maybe it's total ignorance, but just let me be ignorant for 4 more days!!

So, while I know change is coming and it will be an adjustment for all, I'm not scared. I want to take notice of the weekend and make it special for our family of 4 but I am really, really looking forward to our family of 5. (Just please pray he sleeps like Avery and not like Hudson! ha!)

The Best Day of My Life

2010-08-26T15:52:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I was quickly reading through some status updates on Facebook. The status was from a girl I went to high school with that she was in labor and about to give birth to her firstborn. One of the comments read, "congratulations! This is going to be the best day of your life!" And for some odd reason, the first thing that popped into my head was, "maybe not." Maybe it won't be the best day of her life. Isn't that a weird thing for me to think? Believe me, I know what was meant by the comment and I'm not trying to be over analytical, it just made me think. I mean, being a mother was the number 1 thing I wanted to be in life. I love my kids and being their mom more than my very life.

But the day I became a mother was not the best day of my life. In fact, the day was pretty scary. Experiencing labor pains for the first time ever and being so unsure of what was to come. The panic of being home alone and trying to figure out what to do... called Ronny, called my mom, called Meg, waited, timed contractions, called Ronny again to go ahead and come home from work... called the doctor, went to the hospital, more labor pains. Then, my crazy baby boy went into severe fetal distress and I had to put completely under for an emergency c-section. Nope, sorry folks, not the best day of my life. I don't have a clear memory of holding Hudson for the first time because of all the anasthesia. I do remember thinking, don't bring him in here yet- I'm not fully awake and I'm freaking out inside. I remember feeling fear that suddenly I was SO inadequate to handle that beautiful baby. The day was incredibly significant. Definitely the most significant day of my life. Definitive even. Don't get me wrong. It was a day, and a moment of holding him that first time, that changed all the rest of my days for forever.

However, I can think of 100 different days and moments that have been better while being Hudson's mom than just becoming Hudson's mom. Early newborn days where we layed together on the couch all day long and bonded over nursing and TV. Those days were better than the day he was born. Watching him make all of his animal sign language signs and animals sounds before he could even speak clearly and getting a glimpse of his personality. I clearly remember him sitting in my white chair in the living room and showing off for his daddy and me! That was a better day than the day he was born. The countless hugs and kisses and I love you's-- the millions of stories read and watching him in total joy at a playground-- hearing him share with us how BIG God is and how much he loves Jesus-- riding through a game park in Namibia and watching Hudson watch the animals he adores so much-- ALL better days and better moments than the scary day he was born. Because I love being his mom so much more than just becoming his mom.

My wedding day certainly ranks up there on best days ever. I mean, a day all about ME (and Ronny!) Feeling like a beautiful princess, having the wedding of my dreams, being surrounded by people I loved dearly and who loved me. It was a close to perfect day! But even that, I now know Ronny so much better now. I love him so much deeper. I have honestly had better days being his wife, than I did becoming his wife. The moment I married Ronny was of course, like I've said, signigicant and definitive but wouldn't it be sad if the best day I ever had was 9 years in the past? Shouldn't my joy increase in my marriage as the years go by? Not that there are not ups and downs, but I pray it just keeps getting better and better!

I have created a beautiful movie in my head of the day Eli is born. It is pain free, stress free, Hudson and Avery are instantly in love with him, he is perfect in every way and we all adjust beautifully to our new family of 5 without missing a beat! It could happen like that, I guess. :) But I am comforted with the reality that even if it doesn't and even if, I mean, when, it's hard and it hurts to recover, and we're all tired and crying... that it is absolutely worth it ALL and there will be a million "best days ever" still to come!

My laundry fairy

2010-08-24T23:31:00.004-05:00

Well, I guess I shouldn't call my son a "fairy" of any sort, because he is in fact quite a masculine little guy :) But rather, he is my serious laundry helper. He truly is the most amazing little boy you've ever met. He's rough and tumble and loves to kick the soccer ball and tackle his daddy. He also loves to snuggle with me on the couch and be my biggest helper. Lately laundry has been his thing. The bigger I get, the harder all the bending and scooping and carrying heavy baskets of laundry has been for me. Yesterday Hudson pushed and pulled all three baskets into the laundry room for me and then sorted them into lights and darks. Then threw all the clothes into the washer, then into the dryer, then out of the dryer, while I just sat and supervised! (the beauty of a front loader.) It wasn't a speedy process but it kept me from hurting myself. My belly is stretched beyond any normal limit and my back is so sore. I'm doing NO lifting these days... anyway... He loves to do it and I am so appreciative of his love for his mama :)

Today he sorted between his and Avery's clean clothes and then sorted his clothes in his room to be put away:

After the piles are made, he knows which drawers they go in (underwear/socks, pj's, shorts and swimsuits) and hangs up all of his shirts. The drawers are not neatly stacked by any means (see the underwear popping out the top drawer?!), but the clothes are put away, he is proud and again, I sat by to supervise :)

I've tried to prepare both kids for not only how wonderful it is going to be when Eli is here with us, but that, especially at first, he will take a lot of work and a lot of mommy's time. They know my tummy will be very sore for a while (after my c-section) and that I won't be able to pick them up. They also know we can still do lots of snuggling on the couch even if I can't carry them! One day as I was reminding/preparing Hudson that a new baby will be a lot of work, he told me not to worry, that he would help me with all that work. And you know, I believe him! 4 1/2 is proving to be my favorite age! ;) Avery and Eli are both so lucky to get Hudson for a big brother!

Celebrating Eli

2010-08-23T14:00:00.020-05:00

I am so blessed to have friends who want to celebrate the upcoming arrival of my baby Eli, even though he's #3 and the 2nd boy :)!

Back in June, a group of us went to a friend's lake house for the weekend. On Saturday night, they totally surprised Kelly and me with a suprise baby shower! She and I are due just days apart. It was so fun to be so surprised. I've never had a surprise anything before for me! I didn't even have a clue what was going on. It was also extra fun because Autumn was in town from Ohio and got to be in on it as well! The weekend was incredibly relaxing and fun. We spent the entire day Saturday doing this:

Then we finally came in for some dinner, which Kelly and I happened to be in charge of. After we all finished eating, Angela took Kelly, me and a couple of others outside to chat by the pool while some others "cleaned up for us." What they really did was sneak out presents, cupcakes, decorations, flowers, the works for our babies! Totally casual, fresh out of the pool, and toally special- just my style! All pink for Kel and Baby Glory. All blue for myself and Baby Eli! So sweet. Personalized notes of encouragement and scripture to see everyday while we get the babies dressed!

Autumn made the most special quilt for Eli- one, that it is totally handmade by my sweet friend. Two, that she did it with African animals and patterns! I LOVE IT!

Then just a couple of weeks ago, my dear long time friends took me out to dinner for a nice night out to shower me with more blessings in shades of blue and yummy cupcakes, awesome lightweight swaddle blankets, adorable clothes, a glittery big sister shirt for Avery and a superman big brother shirt for Hudson, and the cutest, softest lime green baby pack pack! He is set and I had a GREAT time being spoiled by my friends!

Me and Meg

Carly, Jill and Mandy

My heart is so full to have these wonderful ladies in my life, especially because they already love my boy so much!!

How to pass the time...

2010-08-21T09:00:00.001-05:00

... while waiting to have a baby:

Go to Chuck E Cheese's after preschool. Get lots of tokens and watch the kids play. Eat mediocre pizza, treat the unborn child to a cherry coke and enjoy the pleasure the kids get from riding in a little car or actually winning some tickets. They had a ball and I like watching them have a ball!

Sleep all afternoon while the kids nap. It's not like I'm sleeping at night so I sleep while I can. Good nap Friday afternoon, I must say.

Friday evening, get take-out for dinner and let the kids have races through the house-- the circle that goes down one hall, into our living room, into another hall, into our bedroom and back to the first hall. Just make sure they take their socks off or they'll fall when they slide onto the wood floors in the living room. Also let them sit and play with loads of stuffed animals in the ready and waiting crib. (My dinner was as mediocre as my lunch but there's not a lot of room for food in me these days anyway.)

Ronny adds to play the wii with Hudson- 100 pin bowling, golf and 3-point shoot out this time. Hudson is a very sore loser. We're working on it.

Fill the master tub with a glorious bubble bath for Avery and mommy. (I wear a before I ever had a baby bikini) I get to lay still and soak my sore back in the warm water. Avery plays in the bubbles and sweetly pours warm water over my stretched and sore belly while gently putting bubbles "all over baby Eli- he likes it", she says. I sure do :). It's relaxation and mother daughter bonding all at the same time. Hard to beat that.

Put the kids to bed. On Friday night they get to fall asleep in our bed. It's a treat they look forward to all week. :) Then get a movie On Demand to watch with the hubby on the couch. It's a date night at home!

All in all, Friday was a truly happy day and I successfully passed the time without going crazy over being ready to have this sweet baby. Then everyone went to sleep and I was left lying in bed, wide awake, waiting only to have a baby... How will I pass the day today?! :)

First Day of School

2010-08-20T09:52:00.009-05:00

This morning begins another year at a school we love! As a 4 year old now, Hudson will do 3 mornings per week. I miss his company at home, but I love that he gets the interraction with kids his age and the academics that he loves. Avery on the other hand, misses him terribly!

My handsome 4 1/2 year old!

Let's see how many shade of green I can get in one picture :) Proud of his new backpack!

Loving his new booster in the far back of the van, making room for Eli up by Avery. He climbs in and buckles all by himself. This will come in very handy as I have 3 carseats in my car...

Little sister wants to go to school, too so badly! Daddy told her this morning she can't grow up too fast. She politely agreed :)

Excited to go in to his new class with his wonderful new teacher, Mrs. Brown

We are so grateful for a school that invests so much, with teachers and students so loving and kind. I don't trust my boy to just anyone! He was thrilled to go this morning and get started. We trust we'll have another great year!

Last Day of Summer

2010-08-19T21:47:00.006-05:00

It's always sad to me when summer ends. No matter how old I am. :) Tomorrow is Hudson's first day of 4 year old preschool and although he only goes 3 days per week, today still marks the final day of summer for this household. boo.

We started the day as lazy and slow as possible-- like chocolate chip muffins on the couch while we watched Dinosaur Train kind of lazy :) Then we got in our swimsuits and headed off to the Y to meet Angela and Emerie and my sister, Emily. We managed to soak up 3 1/2 hours of sun, swim and play before dragging the kids home, who still thought they had some more swim left in them! Their rosey cheeks and how easily Avery was moved to tears (nap time!) said otherwise. She slept, Hudson rested on the couch, I showered and went to the doctor, leaving Emily here to watch Hudson.

My kind doctor took one look at my belly, mashed around 3 or 4 times checking for size and position and said, "We don't have to worry about him not being big enough!" Yes, thank you. Even my doctor agrees with what everyone, both friend AND stranger, has told me lately, my tummy is huge. My sore back thinks so, too. I'm just glad something for at least a little while in my life can make my backside look small! :) And at least you all aren't telling me my thighs are fat or how round my face has become. That would hurt my feelings, so let's focus on the tummy!

I tried to wake Avery when I got home since she was napping so late in the day. She looked at me and whispered, "I need to sleep a little bit more, mommy. Can I have some privacy?" Then she put her thumb in her mouth and closed her eyes. I was bewildered. So I left her for a few minutes and then went back in, convincing her we needed to eat supper and be awake for a bit before bed time!

After Ronny got home, Hudson had requested lasagna for his last day of summer dinner and I didn't have one, nor the ingredients for one, nor the desire to drive the ONE BLOCK to HEB... so we went to the Olive Garden where my boy pounded his lasagna! (and I spilled Avery's water all over the floor. Yes, I did, not my 2 year old, it was me, the big lady at the end of the table.) After one breadstick and my salad, I was totally full (of baby) so my dinner still awaits me in the fridge for a bedtime snack! :)

No true summer day is complete without a treat so we finished our night at Bahama Bucks for snow cones. mmmmm, I have passed on my serious love for them to both children.

Baths, clothes laid out, backpack ready, bible story and family prayer time and Hudson fell right to sleep tonight, excited and ready for school tomorrow! And I finally read the last chapter of the book I've been trying to read the whole summer. And as much as I hate to see such a fun summer go, I'm hoping to get at least one week of our fall routine underway and the kids somewhat settled into it before our little Eli arrives. I have a feeling he's gonna shake things up a bit... and make them even better!

My Love

2010-08-13T09:20:00.005-05:00

August 4, 2001 we said "I do." 9 years. 3 kids. 5 homes. 2 continents. 3 churches. 1 pesky dog. 3 trips to Africa- with children! (only he and I are that crazy.) 7 re-capped anniversaries and last year back in Southern Africa. only ONE relaxing beach vacation just the two of us (our honeymoon)- gonna change that on our 10th! 12 (I think) youth camps. loving just our daily life. countless arguments and making up. more help than I can even describe. constantly pursues me. makes me proud. makes me happy. encourages me. did I mention how much he helps me? and how much he loves me?! And I am more in love than ever.
9 year anniversary photo courtesy of our 4 year old :)

Two Little Lion Cubs

2010-08-11T14:44:00.011-05:00

When I found out I was pregnant for the first time (with Hudson), maybe even before, Ronny and I bought this lion cub picture from our favorite photographer in Namibia with the intention of it hanging in our baby's nursery. It did hang in Hudson's nursery and now he loves it so much. Ronny made the comment the other day how "prophetic" the picture is of now two little boy lion cubs living in that room. :)

Thanks to my friend, Laura, I also have crib bedding that matches Hudson's big boy bedding! It was her son's and she is graciously letting Eli borrow it, making for one very cute PBK airplane boy room at my house! (which Pottery Barn no longer makes making this an even better gift!)

Eli's side

Hudson's side

I'm having to get used to Hudson's room being a little more crowded, but he is thrilled and I do love how it's all turned out.

All we need now is a baby! (who will, by the way, be sleeping in my room for quite sometime- till I'm sure they can sleep well in the same room!)

Anytime now, Little Love, anytime! Mommy's tummy is very, very big and heavy! And I am dying to see your face!

Hanging up my tank top... for now

2010-08-10T09:18:00.007-05:00

I started this post back in May but didn't know quite how to wrap it up... Trying again...

Late May of 2009 I took my first Zumba fitness class with Shemane Nugent at the Doris Miller Y one Friday night with a small group of my close friends. "Let's Get it Started" by the Black Eyed Peas began, I started to move, my face broke out with a smile and laughs-- I had the time of my life. That silly song still stirs up emotion in me. Dramatic as that may seem to those who don't understand, I had found something that would change my life. Dramatic, yes, but so true. I joined the Y the very next day and went to every single class I could. I couldn't get enough. I'll spare all the long details but sometime in August, Shemane began to talk instructor certification with Angela, Emily and myself. Wide eyed, clueless, hopeful, naive we took the training, ya know, just to help out Shemane here and there, just because we loved it so much.
We had no idea...

See back then Zumba was taking off in Waco but there were not very many instructors yet. Within that first week, we were offered classes at a couple of schools for teachers after school, a class for MCC employees in their beautiful dance room, AND Shemane left town for over a week leaving us brand new instructors to teach her brand new class in the huge, gorgeous Roosevelt ballroom downtown as well as subbing for her classes at WRS. Off we went without looking back. Teaching or attending several classes per day... practice, practice, practice HOURS in my living room and the WBA gym... practice the choreo, practice the cue-ing, practice doing the entire song backwards as some of the classes didn't have mirrors and we had to face the participants. We laugh out loud now at how bad our instructing still was then :) But all that time, all the little classes that failed, the times we taught to only 2 people :), the times we taught entirely for free just for the experience, made us into better instructors. I once paid to teach a class- I had to pay for the room we were in and not enough people came for me to even break even! HA! That's my favorite story :) I just loved it that much, needed the experience and the practice, and so that's what I did. We learned over the first few months what would work and what didn't. Time and location are EVERYTHING. Different rooms create different energy, certain time slots appeal to a wider variety of people, etc. We worked and worked and worked and found our way. Only one of our earliest classes even exists anymore- we've traded for a slew of other ones. And I wouldn't change a thing.

All the time and energy, although exhausting at times, took me further from my comfort zone than I have ever been. I remember sometime in December thinking in the middle of a class I was teaching from a stage to over 100 ladies in a Gatesville convention center, "how did I get here? I used to be afraid to talk out loud and now I'm doing this?? Shaking my stuff in front of all these people?! " HAHA!! It was the best thing I have ever done for myself- so different from anything I had ever done before and instilled in me a confidence I had no idea I even had. It changed me. And I got a front row seat to see other ladies, just like me, find something in Zumba they never had before- a love for exercise, a confidence in themselves, a happier life even.

More so than that even, Zumba gave me Angela and Emily. Now Emily is my sister so one would think we were already as close as we could be. And we were close. What I've loved so much about being teammates however, is that we are not big sister/little sister. We are peers, friends, and seeing as she is 9 years younger than me, I also got to see her be a mature, responsible, adult. She's bailed me out, encouraged me, calmed me and been the dearest of friends. Angela I knew prior to Zumba obviously, but the friend I now have in her is one of rare find. It's far more than Zumba/skin deep... she's my heart friend, another sister. And none of the work would have been worth it this year without the two of them to do it with me. I owe so much to Shemane and the encourager she's been to me as well and I could not have done this at all, were it not for her first seeing something in me that said I could do this and entrusting the three of us with all she has. Thank you. (I feel like I'm accepting an award! hee hee :))

me about 20 weeks pregnant with the team after a 90 minute class at Golds gym

Then December 28, 2009, my family got a little surprise- a wonderful, blessed, happy surprise in the form of a positive pregnancy test... Suddenly things changed again and I had no idea what was going to come of my Zumba career. Shortly thereafter, the nausea and exhaustion began and then I topped it off with some bleeding and cramping that left me, by doctor's request, sadly sidelined for a few weeks. I reached 12 weeks the same time Angela left town for a week so I jumped right back in. It was hard to get going again but once I did, I felt the same love and passion again, with the thoughts lingering in the back of my head of how long I could keep this up. Every class, someone would ask- "how long are you going to keep doing this?" And I would answer that I was taking it a week at a time and going to go as long as I could! We also knew our schedule would change again when summer hit and that proved to be a good time for me to begin my "maternity leave", at the end of May. I was still loving it, but didn't think I had the energy to teach the way that participants deserved and I was making some of them nervous :). I was SO very sad but at the same time Curves was trying out Zumba with their circuit equipment and I jumped on the opportunity. The Curves classes were shorter (30 minutes vs an hour) and with simpler choreography- not less energy or effectiveness, but less jumping and squatting :) I thoroughly enjoyed teaching those classes until just recently. My favorite part of instructing is the interaction with the participants and seeing the joy on their faces. The Curves classes are perfect for that because we do the whole thing in a circle where I can see everyone the whole time. I loved it. And every time someone there asked me how much longer I thought I could teach, I would say, "Well, I thought I would already be done but I just can't seem to let go!"

One Saturday this May, Emily and I were co-teaching our last class at MCC before the summer break. Because MCC was the very first class we ever taught, we brought out our oldest play list and did all of our original songs. It was a blast! Partly pregnancy hormones and the realization of things to change, the old music playing and pulling up all the emotions in me-- I actually had to fight tears through the class! What a crazy year :)

The night of my last class...

Just a couple of weeks ago, I taught my very last class. 7 weeks away from delivery at the time, it was time. But oh how I mourned. I mean cried real tears over the course of several days! I never handle change well, even good change, and I am leaving behind a huge, huge part of me. I'm trading it in for something so very wonderful and I could not be more excited or more ready for this baby. But things are changing and that change has made me a little sad. It's actually been a grieving process! You see there are countless new instructors, new certifications, new classes, and the Zumba culture is marching right on without me. And I have to wonder where I'm going to fit when I'm ready for my come back. (more tears.)

This I do know- I cannot worry myself with it now. I have (almost) three very small children who need a focused, loving mommy without distractions during our transition to a family of 5. I'll have a post [three] c-sections body that needs time to heal. I'll have a newborn who needs me to provide him plenty of milk. So there's had to be a shift in my thinking. It's not been without inner struggle but I've had to get over myself (again) and not pout around anymore. So I hung up my tank tops and put away the cargo pants for this period of time. I guess we'll just have to wait and see for what happens next... Rest assured Angela and Emily are still kickin boot-ay all over town :)!

The last two weeks

2010-07-28T21:41:00.002-05:00

We are in full blown "organizing for baby" mode. I truly believe that Hudson and Eli sharing a room is going to work out just fine. Hudson is totally excited and his room and closet are big enough for all the furniture and everything. I'm just disappointed that I don't get to decorate another nursery! I love nurseries! I also love getting to go through all of Hudson's baby things and use them again. But since I don't get to do a nursery, but rather just add a bed to Hudson's existing room, I've found plenty of nesting to do-- organize the boys' room to suit them both, finish Avery's big girl room and have our playroom totally functional by the time Eli arrives so that my older two have a separate place to play while Eli and I do all the fun things we'll do like nurse and sleep :). I cannot wait to see his face and hold him close!!

We took family pictures/maternity pictures yesterday- a last shot of our family of four while celebrating the belly and the baby inside it! It was so fun!

We spent a week at Sonday's Camp at Mt. Lebanon- seriously my favorite place ever- with the Highland youth group last week. My parents graciously took care of my children Sunday-Wednesday so I could be a part of all of the services and quieter and late night times. It was so nice to get to hang out with Ronny, the other sponsors and the youth kids without my own kids to need my undivided attention :). I missed them a lot but really enjoyed the time. I got them from mom on Wednesday and they stayed at camp with us until Friday. They loved it of course and it was great to have them there. I love that I got to split the time and do a little with kids and a little without! :) My children are after my own heart and LOVE youth camp and we are so blessed to have Highland youth who also love on my kids! We annoyed everyone at rec time with over 100 vuvuzelas and took great satisfaction in that. As always, Matt Chandler was an incredible speaker and Dutton was fantastic leading worship. Hudson is a huge fan of Logan, their lead singer and is still talking about how he got to listen to Logan and even talk to him. Logan was in our youth group years ago so it's cute now for Hudson to be so "star struck" with him :).

I hate when it rains in the summer. I mean, I know we need it to cool us off and keep everything from dying and all, but it's been raining for three days and I just want the sun to shine. Summer=swim and sun in my book.

I'm going to freak out a little when it's August. While August is the month of our anniversary and possibly even when my baby will be born, August also means school starting and summer ending which is DE-pressing. I always hate when school starts. Hudson's been asking to go back to pre-school for a month so at least he's excited! Plus I still have too much to do for Eli to be born just yet. :) Too fast-- time is flying by me WAY too fast.

Hudson has declared that he is going to marry Avery. He says he doesn't love any other girl in the whole world more than he loves her. And he's still really young so I find that only incredibly sweet and not at all weird. I only hope they both love Eli as much as they love each other and that he doesn't feel left out!

And thus concludes my boring update blog post.

Don't Forget the "Half"

2010-07-17T09:00:00.000-05:00

Because Hudson and Avery both have birthdays so close to Christmas, we try to celebrate their half birthdays during the summer. I've done better at this in years past, when we would actually have a day to celebrate, give a gift, have cupcakes, etc. This year's half birthday dates came awfully quickly and while the day was certainly noted and mentioned, it was hardly a celebration :( I like to think we can still do that before the summer is over! Or if not, then our beach vacation was very close to both of their "half days" so that will count this time! AND I intend to finish Avery's baby book, before I have another baby!! :) I've worked on it a lot over the last couple of weeks, hence the neglected blog, and it is nearly finished!

Silly Girl!

Both kids are very insistent that you not leave off the half when you say how old they are-- Hudson is not 4, he is 4 AND A HALF. Avery is not 2- she is 2 AND 1/2! :) Earlier this summer, Hudson got to transition into a booster seat in the car from his big 5 point harness seat. He was all smiles and we asked if he felt big. He said, "yeah, I feel like I am 5!!"

Both of my darlings have done so much growing up this summer. With Ronny's schedule being so busy and him being out of town so much and all, I feel like God has really given us extra grace this summer. My kids have been SO good. I mean like really good for me while Ronny's been away. Hudson even put away an entire load of laundry for me in his room-- put things in the proper drawers and hung every one of his shirts in his closet. He told me that he was helping extra since daddy was gone! What a precious boy! It's that "half" I tell ya, that makes them so big :) And the way they love each other is so, so sweet.

In other news:
Avery is potty trained-- dare I say it?! Truly, she's done great. Again, being so big. She can't wait for Eli to come out so she can "hold him and kiss him and love him."Both kids have decided they like the name Eli-- you know, they fought us on it for a while! But just this week Hudson hugged my tummy and said, "I think I like the name Eli now." I said, "you do?! Great!" and he said, "I said, I think." But that's how they are both referring to him now instead of their own names for him- you remember Clayton Clifford and Alligator?!

So far I've managed to take 2 1/2 pictures of Avery and I will leave you with the rest of those:
I plan to take Hudson's pictures and get them posted ASAP.

What a mess of a post, all over the place!! :)

Easy to please

2010-07-01T09:07:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon, I learned just how easy my children are to please! The weather was iffy and unpredictable so I didn't want to pack up everything and go to the pool only to have it rain. However, there was some sun that I didn't want to go to waste! So, I pulled out this baby back yard water toy that I bought when Hudson was about 6 months old and hooked it up to the water hose. My kids totally exceed the "weight limit" on this toy meant for those who can sit up but not actually swim :)! But, they had a ball! Of course these are the same children who would spend an hour in the bathtub! Where there's water, there's a good time to be had by my kiddos! They enjoyed drinking the water from the "fountains" and then filled it with bath toys and cups and splashed around like it was the best thing ever! I soaked up the vitamin D in my lawn chair and when I got too hot, the favorite game of the day was "pour water on mommy!" We got to play for over an hour before the bottom fell out of the clouds and poured on us! Then we all took great naps while it stormed outside! I love when something actually works out like I want it to!

**This is also my very first blog post brought to you by my brand new lap top! Woo hoo- happy birthday and mother's day from my dear hubby! :)

Swimming and Potty Training and various things

2010-06-30T09:49:00.010-05:00

It's nice to see people are still reading the blog! I went through a dry spell on comments there for a while so I wasn't sure anyone was reading :) Thank you for your kind comments below! I've had to set the settings where I have to approve the comments- I was getting TONS of spam comments :( Anyway, now I can just "reject" those :)
Our summer has truly been a blast so far. The kids are swimming like little fish. Hudson is totally independent in the water and so brave. He had lessons with Sandy Back last week, with his girl friends :) He had most of the skills but now he has the desire and the confidence. I'm so proud of him! Avery is learning her basic skills- swim position, kicks, blowing bubbles and loves to "swim" to us in her little life vest :)

Yes, I will post this picture every summer of our little swim babies their first summer of life, ha!:
Here are the same sweet kids at swim lessons last week:
Lorelei did swim lessons with us all week but missed the last day, which was the only day I had my camera :(

Avery is doing great at using the potty. She even woke up dry this morning! Not bad for 2 1/2. She really wants to be as big as her brother and that helps :). She really is acting so big at many things. It's bitter sweet for this mama. Swimming and potty training-- that sums up our last week!

In other "news"-- We took the house OFF the market on Friday. We really feel at peace about staying put where we are. Hudson is excited to share his room with baby Eli and I am too pregnant to pack and unpack boxes at this point :). We'll see a year from now if we want to try again...

We also enjoyed a family reunion with all of my mom's family last weekend and are thoroughly enjoying the World Cup games. It's been so nice having Ronny home this week to just have some good ole family time. I've loved many, many trips to Bahama Bucks for sno cones. I'm 9 weeks away from having our new baby. Nothing to complain about here!

Who is in that 3rd trimester tummy...

2010-06-24T21:05:00.006-05:00

Maybe it's just me, but this pregnancy is flying by! Seriously! The summer always goes by way too fast and now this summer, I will have a new baby by the end of it! My first two pregnancies ended in the winter, so my last trimester was while the weather was getting way cooler... oh, not this time :) But, hot is hot is hot and we're all hot, so I'm not complaining!

Anyway, the day I hit 29 weeks with Hudson, I took a picture on the way to my 4D sonogram: I had a favorite comfy shirt my first two (winter) pregnancies and when I took a picture at 29 weeks with Avery on the way to my 4D sonogram, I laughed when I am wearing the same shirt:
So yesterday I reached the 29 week mark and although my 4D sonogram is not until next week, I put on the shirt for old time's sake as what exactly I looked like going into my 3rd trimester for the 3rd time:So I may be clearly too hot to blow dry my hair this time but, my belly looks exactly the same! So who is in that belly anyway? Well, thanks for asking! His name is:

Eli Greyson Higgins

We've been trying on the name for a few days now and I think it has staying power! I love being able to call him by name! Hudson is bummed that it's not Clayton Clifford (his choice) and is insistent upon calling him that. That's fine. It's a perfectly fine name, just not what we chose. And Avery still insists that she will call him "Alligator".

They love him and hug and kiss my tummy every day. And there is plenty of tummy to love on!! :)

As happy as an Orca eating a fish

2010-06-22T10:22:00.014-05:00

On Friday, I took Hudson along with his three little best friends and their mamas (my dear friends!) on an overnight trip to Sea World for just the big kids! (no baby brothers or sisters allowed) Meg and Sophie, Mandy and Lorelei, Carly and Lucy, Me and Hudson

As you can see Hudson is the only boy in this bunch but every single one of these girls has a baby brother (or brothers) leaving Avery the only girl of the little ones :) When everyone is all together, it's much more balanced :)

We arrived in San Antonio at about 3:00 in the afternoon, checked into our hotel and took the shuttle right over to Sea World. The kids had a blast playing in the hotel and riding on the shuttle- just as much fun as Sea World to them!Friday evening was a nice time to be in the park. It wasn't too hot or crowded at that point. Hudson totally surprised me and rode the shamu roller coaster and the monkey elevator ride. Simple to some, yes, but this was a big step for him! He told me after the shamu coaster, "it wasn't as much fun as I thought it would be." But then wanted to do it the next day again! He said that the second time he knew how fast it was going to be, so it was fun! :)

We enjoyed the Sea Lion show and Shamu show that night and the purchase of a ridiculously expensive cup that all four children just had to have! Have I mentioned how crazy my son is about animals? ;) He was in heaven!We finally got the kids in bed around 10 and Hudson slept like a rock!! All three little girls wanted in one bed but Hudson wanted to sleep on his Thomas the Train mat on the floor :) So Meg and I each got a bed in our room with Hudson on the floor. The other two mamas and three kids were in the other room. After a delicious breakfast at our really nice hotel we headed back to Sea World!
The first stop we made was to feed the dolphins. This is my favorite thing in all of Sea World! Hudson and all three girls dropped those little fishies into the mouths of the seemingly- smiling dolphins and pet their noses. Too cool! We enjoyed the sharks and other fish aquariums, played some on the playgroud, rode a couple more rides and then had a blast at the water park. It was SUPER hot by the afternoon (duh.) and really crowded (we weren't the only ones needing a break from the heat). But, we all had a great time in the wave pool and lazy river. We put the kids in life jackets and away we went down the river. It was so fun. All the kids were laughing out loud the whole way around- pure joy! I only had my phone camera with me so I either snagged pics off of Meg's blog or used the ones from my phone! It's too hard to try to get great, great pictures and enjoy being in the moment at the same time!

We finished the day with a new show called "Azul". It was awesome. Hudson had been begging to see the Beluga whales featured in this show, with dolphins, divers doing all sorts of flips and tricks from high dives, acrobats and macaws. It was late in the day by then and we had some sleepy kids... We literally RAN to the front gate in our wet swimsuits to catch our shuttle back to the hotel before we had to wait another hour for the next shuttle! We were a sight I'm sure :)
I asked Hudson if he was happy and he replied, "As happy as an Orca [killer whale] eating a fish!!" Yesssss, that made galavanting around Sea World at roughly 96 degrees while 28 weeks pregnant, completely worthwhile! :)

Sea Turtles

2010-06-16T09:23:00.006-05:00

Our whole family got a little smarter on vacation, too as we spent a little time at the Sea Turtle Rescue Center on the Island. In all the times I've visited S Padre, I'd never gone here. We learned all about Sea Turtles and why they are in danger and all sorts of cool facts about them. The kids just loved watching them swim around and seeing how most of the "sick" ones were getting better and ready to be released back into the ocean. It was actually really fascinating!
This particular turtle (the big one) lost 3 of her fins when she was a baby to a shark and would just swim in a circle with only one fin! She was rescued and actually given a prosthetic fin! So she can swim like a normal turtle- although she will always have to live at the rescue center. Hudson was deeply bothered by the fact that a shark had attacked her :)- such is the circle of life!

This guy popped up to say hello!We couldn't help but talk to them in Australian accents after seeing "Finding Nemo"! :)
And the kids got to take turns feeding lettuce to this big one. Each child there would hold up a piece of lettuce to the glass so we could all get a good look at the sea turtle and then they would toss the lettuce over the top to feed him.My little animals lovers loved it!

On the Beach

2010-06-14T21:49:00.010-05:00

I love the beach. I don't even care which beach. I don't even mind a brown, muddy, sea weed infested beach. I just love it. The sight, the sound, the smell. I love nothing more than a good relaxing do-nothing beach vacation. So after a night and day in San Antonio, we headed South to Padre Island for five days of sunshine, sand and ocean. Fairly quick drive to the coast, cheap, and fun for the whole family!! :) The camera lens fogged up every time we stepped outside but here are the kids, fully stocked with sand-digging equipment, which was probably Avery's favorite part. My little princess loves her some dirt digging! When Hudson was asked if he liked the sand, the ocean, or the hotel pool better, he said, "ALL OF IT!"

Ronny took turns with the kids swimming them out to the sand bar where they would enjoy the water and watching some fish. The other would stay behind with me sitting on the edge of where the waves would crash and fill our swimsuits with sand :) Hudson took the waves head on! Avery liked to hold a hand or sit in a lap but giggled and squealed the whole time!
Here she is running in for the first time!
It's not the Bahamas or anything, but it's a favorite for us! The kids slept on their blow up beds in the living room of the condo and loved having slumber party every night. We took it easy, spent A LOT of time on the beach or in the pool. We spent one day at the Schlitterbahn water park on the Island which I have no pictures of but the kids LOVED. We ate delicious seafood every night for dinner and my children discovered they do actually like fish! :) We had wonderful uninterrupted family time and I got to read or lay out during nap time :) Both kids contested leaving and I had to join them. I'm so curious to what family vacation will look like next summer, with a new baby brother in tow!

San Antonio Zoo

2010-06-07T17:10:00.018-05:00

Hudson's one request for our family vacation was to "go to a zoo that isn't our zoo". The plan was to leave after church on Sunday and drive to San Antonio with the kids sleeping on the way. Then enjoy a nice dinner on the Riverwalk and go to bed early so we could get to the zoo when it opened at 7:30 am on Memorial Day. We'd spend the morning there and then sleep again in the car as we continued on to South Padre Island. Hudson LOVES all things related to animals, asks about 5 times per week to go to the zoo in our town and knows all sorts of random facts about animals. He's learned a lot from the Wonderpets and Diego, shoot I learned all about Pink River Dolphins and Spectacled Bears from Diego :). He also loves most anything on Animal Planet or the Discovery Channel, has countless animal books, chooses to play imaginary games with his stuffed animals over just about anything... He loves zoo animals, African animals, ocean animals... you get the picture... I knew how much he was looking forward to this zoo trip. He spent hours the day before we left even studying the zoo map online! All actually went according to plan :) until we got to the zoo at 7:45 AM on Memorial Day and the lady at the ticket counter said, "sorry you have to be a San Antonio Zoo member to get in at 7:30. Otherwise you have to wait until 9" (when I knew the rest of the world would show up!) MY plan was to beat the heat and the crowd... I knew how important this day was to my child so I just didn't leave the ticket counter. As Ronny said, "Kylie just kept makin stink about it." I don't usually "make stink" but Hudson was jumping out of his skin excited- it was important to him to get in now and he is important to me! Finally, the kind woman reluctantly let us in- early and on her zoo pass! Woo hoo!! Excited kids through the foggy lens in San Antonio humidity!
A lot of the animals still didn't come out until 9 am, but we got to leisurely stroll around while the weather was cool and there were no crowds. We enjoyed lots of monkeys and the fish aquariums and reptiles early before the big animals were let out into their exhibits. We still had a head start :) By the time we left at about 11:30, it was crawling with people and getting very hot. Perfect time to hit the road!

Hudson exclaimed without question, "there's an okapi! They have an okapi!" A rare, rare find from central Africa. This one he happened to learn about and fall in love with from a Wild Outdoors Elmo episode :). Hudson explains, "An okapi looks like someone took zebra legs and a black giraffe top and put them together!"

Watching the tigers:
And the hippo:

The spectacled bear I learned all about from Diego:

We fed the lorries with cups of nectar:

And enjoyed classics like the giraffe :) :

We were all thrilled to see some of our favorite Namibian natives, the African Wild Dog, who ran back and forth many times right in front of us: Of course we loved the lions, warthogs, elephants and rhinos, but I must say, our African exhibit at Cameron Park is better to me than what they had going on in SA. They did however have a petting zoo. Hudson was hoping for something more exotic to interact with but did OK with the basic goat. My little cuties:
and THIS guy: was very pleased with the day = SUCCESS!!

A morning at the zoo, followed by an evening on the beach is perfect to me, too :).

Sneak Peak

2010-06-07T04:01:00.002-05:00

Until I can get a proper post written about our super fun family beach trip and Avery's half birthday, I will offer one picture I took on my phone of my sweet girl ready to hit the beach! She is cute as they come!

It's Official.

2010-05-27T13:49:00.011-05:00

It's official: It is summer. My grandparents have uncovered the pool. Hudson had his end of year school party. The heat is already requiring two showers per day. I have no regard for bedtime. I crave at least one sno-cone per day, etc...

My boy has always been a lover of the water!

6 months old- 2006

swim lessons 2007- 18 months

Schlitterban 2008- 2 1/2 years

Swim lessons 2009- 3 1/2 years

End of school party 2010- such a fun water slide!

And next week we head to the beach. Woo hoo!

It's Official: My baby boy is big.Official last day of school photos above to compare to first day of school pictures below: He looks bigger to me anyway. And it seems he has permanently bruised shins :) I am so proud of him I could burst into tears at any moment. (maybe it's part prego hormones!)

All this reminiscing has lead to my third thought for the day.
It's Official: I am SO ready to have another little baby boy!! (currently 25 weeks and feeling very good, thank you very much!)

Now, not to leave my darling daughter out of this post, but tomorrow is her half birthday. Officially 2 AND A HALF!! We have to celebrate half birthdays around here since the kids birthdays are so close to Christmas! She will get her very own post tomorrow :)

Last Day of School

2010-05-25T15:15:00.004-05:00

The only sad part of heading into summer is Hudson not getting to spend two mornings every week with these lovely ladies.If my child is going to be away from me, then I'm pretty picky about who he is with. :) I could not be any more grateful for how my boy was loved and taught this year. It has been a tremendous year for him. Thank you, thank you, Mrs. Thompson and Mrs. Connor and First Woodway Christian School. I pray this is only the beginning of wonderful school years for my little learner!

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Now, so that I do not have to repeat myself, if you would like to read my thoughts on why I love summer and youth ministry so very much read here for what I wrote in 2008 and here for 2009 :)

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AND, from now on if you need me I'll be soaking up the lazy days of summer in some pool somewhere (any pool, anywhere, really) with my children, before our lives change drastically with the arrival of a new little one! A little one that I am very excited about but I know will be a bit of work :).

Summer Afternoon

2010-05-21T11:18:00.002-05:00

I had a framed picture in my college dorm that was a Mary Engelbreit picture with the quote, "Summer Afternoon- Summer Afternoon. To me, those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language." That phrase was running through my head today as I began pre-packing for our vacation next week so I went to see who to attribute such a lovely thought to. I happened upon several quotes worth, well, quoting. If you are a summer lover like myself, this is for you!

Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. ~Sam Keen

In summer, the song sings itself. ~William Carlos Williams

The summer night is like a perfection of thought. ~Wallace Stevens

If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance. ~Bern Williams

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. ~Russel Baker

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time. ~John Lubbock

Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world. ~Ada Louise Huxtable

Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language. ~Henry James

Beautiful!

Catching up on May Happenings

2010-05-17T15:02:00.016-05:00

It's that time of year-- when the outside air is getting warmer and warmer- hallelujah!! And, the time FLIES by!

We had a wonderful Mother's Day Weekend here. We first celebrated my sweet grandmother's 80th birthday on Saturday with lots of family and several of her closest friends.
We had a pretty luncheon at my parents' and grandparents' church parlor. She's the prettiest 80 year old I know and such a beautiful motherly example to both my mom and me. :)

Mother's Day Sunday was low key and SO nice. My sisters were in town We hung out at my parents after church and ate Rosati's pizza for lunch. It was mine and mom's choice so we picked our fave :). My dad's parents came, too. Grandma is with us here. Then we went down to my mom's parents for some dessert that afternoon. I enjoyed a lazy afternoon with my kids and then Ronny made us breakfast for dinner- my other favorite :) and it was a great day! Hudson picked out a special card for me- It sings, too. I will keep it forever!

This past weekend, my youngest sister graduated from Baylor! We had a great time celebrating her and her accomplishment!Grandparents, parents, sisters and the graduate! Ronny did come to the ceremony as well but left to relieve our sitter of the kids as soon as Emily crossed the stage.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE school and schedules ending and summer beginning. We have a vacation planned for the first week of summer and I'm looking forward to lots of pool time as my belly continues to grow! It's going to be a long, hot, sweaty, swollen summer but I am so excited about it! The only thing I'm sad about is Hudson's preschool year ending. We have had SUCH A GREAT YEAR! He has loved going to school and has grown so much in just two mornings per week with good friends and the best teachers I could ask for. In fact, just the other day Hudson tossed a penny in a fountain and wished he could go to school every day! This is a big deal for my child who when given a choice of activities usually chooses to just stay home with Mom! I really don't want this year to end! He will go to the same wonderful preschool next year as a 4 year old and I'm praying it will be the same fantastic experience for him.

We'll wrap up May with an uneventful birthday of mine and dive head first into summer!

Mommy and Me

2010-05-08T09:06:00.001-05:00

Mother's Day is right around the corner (I began this post on Wednesday, Mother's Day is now tomorrow!!)- one of my very favorite holidays! I love that I have a whole day to celebrate my own dear mother as well as a day to celebrate my favorite thing about my own life, being a mother!

Several weeks ago, Avery's Mother's Day Out had a Mommy and Me Tea at the end of the day. It was so sweet. Avery thought it was a total blast. She loved getting dressed up in her fancy dress (that she picked out herself!). She enjoyed the cookies and the sweet iced-tea and she loved just getting to feel like a big girl. :) She was really so cute the whole time, all grins.

The Mother's Day Out Director had all the moms think about what they loved most about their daughter. Instantly I thought about how much I love that Avery is such a good combination of tough girl and frilly girlie-girl! She loves to have her toenails painted and she loves to put on my makeup each morning. She asks for bows for her hair and she usually requests to be put in a dress. If I put a dress on, she tells me how beautiful I am. :) She also likes to play tackle with her brother. She loves motorcycles, to dig in dirt and catch rolly pollies. She wants her turn in the Hulk gloves and to catch and throw or kick whichever ball Hudson and Daddy have going. She is my pretty princess daughter and a good fit for a girl to be sandwiched between two brothers :) all at once!

On Wednesday, Hudson's preschool hosted a Mother's Day Tea. It was a time to get to go into his classroom with him and have a muffin and some juice, hear an adorable story about a Mommy's love called, "I Love You Stinky Face." AND, get some good snuggles from my first born. Hudson presented me with a beautiful red rose and a beaded key chain he'd made just for me, tagged "you hold the keys to my heart." :) Adorable! I told him how much I loved the little flower dangle on the key chain and he told me, "I thought you would like it!" :)

Avery continually keeps me on my toes :). She is so much like her daddy in that way! She is so outgoing and friendly. She makes friends with everyone she meets. She asks every day if it's her school day or a church day or any day that she can get out of the house and go play with friends.

Hudson is much more like me. He is a solid and faithful friend but doesn't love crowds. His preference is usually to stay at home and hang out with me. :) Just yesterday, he told me he needed a little alone time in his room to play a game, alone. I get that. I need alone time every day, too :) He is ridiculously smart. He already shows us daily how Jesus is getting a hold of his heart. He deeply loves his family. Each night before bed we have time to confess anything we need to tell God we're sorry for and then spend a lot of time thanking God for the wonderful things we got to do that day. Last night Hudson said his favorite part of the day was that time in his bed with the whole family. He also requested for lunch yesterday to go to Cafe Cappuccino to eat! (Actually he asked for Cafe Cafe-chino) Yes, that's my boy!!

I am SO excited to see what the wearer of these adorable little outfits will be like!I know I have all of Hudson's clothes for him and I'm so thrilled to get to use them again, but for $6 at Target, I could not pass up the cuteness!

Happy Mother's Day all you Mommies out there!!

Bubble Bath

2010-04-25T19:35:00.002-05:00

Because you are never too young to appreciate the fact that a nice, warm bubble bath at the end of a long day can drastically improve one's attitude.

I already love him so much!

2010-04-23T12:21:00.006-05:00

That's right, my newest bundle of joy is a BOY!
(sorry to be vulgar here but I thought it was funny the way the ultrasound tech labeled the picture for us, as if it wasn't clear!)

My children were elated with the news as they had both put in their request for a baby brother. We thought maybe this time it would be fun to not find out and just wait and be surprised on birth day. It sounded like a good idea a few weeks ago, but now I am SO glad that I know! He is even more real to me now, if that makes sense.Look how he has his feet crossed the way Hudson always did and still does!

I was so sure he was a girl. I just felt more like I did during my pregnancy with Avery, than with Hudson. Shows you how much I know and that every pregnancy is indeed different! My shock yesterday has quickly turned to total excitement!
Isn't our Creator God so amazing?! Look at his sweet hand on his head. So perfectly, amazingly formed. I am in awe.

I have no idea what his name is yet, but I am already so excited to pull out all of Hudson's little clothes and his tiny Robeez with lions on them and his little bitty plaid tops and sweater vests and his tiny blue polo one pieces. I think dressing a little boy is just as fun as dressing a girl!I can't wait to pull out Hudson's red, green and brown plaid bedding and all the little soft blue blankets with trains and airplanes on them. I can't wait to hold this precious, perfect tiny little boy bundle!

I will praise You; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works oh Lord; and that my soul knows well- Psalm 139:14.

World Hunger Relief Farm

2010-04-20T10:12:00.007-05:00

Last weekend was Spring Farm Day at the World Hunger Relief Farm just outside of town. My mom and I took the took the kids for a beautiful day outdoors! The WHRF works on all sorts of projects that benefit people all over the world- they build houses, dig water wells, raise goats for milk, chickens for eggs and crops of all sorts. (They train people who then travel to developing countries to train the people there how to grow their food, provide milk for their families and build shelters, etc. At least that's how I understand it!) There is even a project going on now where they are trying to grow a protein enriched corn. That's awesome to me because my kids love corn... and anything that comes out looking exactly like it went it, can't be used much for nutrients while inside :). It's also great because it's easy to grow in most places and is very cheap for most people, so it would be awesome for it to have a strong protein component. Anyway... we had a great time learning about all their vegetable gardens (which I'm dying to grow my own one these days...), petting all the animals and my children especially loved chasing the chicken that kept escaping! Hudson is attempting to coax the chicken back to her coop!

Pumping the water like the children do in parts of Africa and South America.

Hudson with the goat after the milking demonstration.

Mom and Avery with the camel. The camels were meant to be giving the children rides but they wouldn't get up :) So the camels were just for petting!

Taking a hayride through the farm. The weather was gorgeous and my kids love anything involving animals and outside! It was a great day!

Our New Swagger Wagon

2010-04-13T16:46:00.005-05:00

After much deliberation, research and money crunching, we took the plunge this week and bought a mini van... the dreaded mom car... oh yes. Before I go any further, let me say, that unless you have 3 children under the age of 5 all still in car seats and all requiring assistance getting into and out of the car and getting buckled in, along with all their strollers, back backs and gear, then I don't want to hear it. And if you did all that in a huge SUV then I applaud your strong back and arms! :) Clearly this time in my life necessitates the mini van. So in preparation for the arrival of my newest (needy) one, we traded both cars this weekend to get Ronny an older truck and get me the shiny, white, beautiful (I must say!) mini-van.It's not just any van- it's a brand new Toyota Sienna and Mommy Like very much! I love how it drives like a car and not like a truck. I love the automatic sliding doors and all the room inside. I love that is close to the ground and my two can get in and out all by themselves and THEY LOVE IT! I love the DVD player and storage compartments. It is so convenient and comfortable. All in all, it is a great ride and has absolutely everything we need for our growing family.

Honestly, I feel a little old in it. But then I remember my upcoming birthday and the fact that I am about to give birth to my third child, and well, I guess I am kinda old! :) So I am getting over myself and enjoying my new wheels very much.

The saddest part to me was getting rid of my car. I LOVED my Nissan Murano so very much. It was the nicest car I've ever owned and I loved absolutely everything about it. Plus, I get very sentimental about these things. I have shed a tear over every car I've ever traded in... except the Pathfinder I traded for my Murano because I was SO excited about my Murano. Anyway, I loved my car, it just didn't have the space I needed for my kids and I do love my kids more. :) So off she went... :( Avery is waving good-bye to her:Yesterday I mourned the Murano... Today I can get excited about my new ride!

Here's to being a mommy, in every way! :)

Welcome to Spring time in Texas!

2010-04-09T17:16:00.006-05:00

The sun is shining and the Bluebonnets are in full bloom!

What a great day to be outside. Especially when daddy is so funny!
My boy, lover of all things red, prefers the Indian Paint Brushes to the Bluebonnets,
or as Avery says, "boo bonnix."
Happy Spring, the BEST time to be in Texas!

Baby Nostalgia

2010-04-07T12:57:00.002-05:00

Exactly 5 years ago today I took my very first positive pregnancy test and found out I was having my first baby! My long awaited, fiercely prayed for baby. The one who would turn out to be my Hudson, of course.

I had been counting every single day for many, many months. And the two days before I was feeling very tired and even a little queasy when I got too hot. Ronny and I were living in Namibia then and spent the morning teaching True Love Waits to a group of students at one of the schools. I ran into a drug store on the way home and bought the test just in case. My heart was racing when I checked out! I was so nervous/excited to even buy the test! That afternoon Ronny went to coach his soccer team and I was at home. I was trying to work on my Bible Study for the week (I was leading Beth Moore's "Jesus the One and Only" at that time.) I kept getting distracted by the little test in the bathroom... I knew it was "best" to test in the morning so I planned to wait until the next day but I just couldn't wait.
So off I went to our little tiled bathroom, took the test and knelt down on the cold floor to watch it. My heart has never beat so hard or fast. I swear I could see it pounding through my shirt!

And then there it was-- TWO little faint pink lines. Two little lines that would change the rest of my life. There weren't just tears to follow, it was all out sobs, the most joyful sobs my body could produce! Makes me teary now to relive it! So I knelt on that tile floor and praised my Father, the Giver of Life. He heard my prayers and He gave me the most incredible gift that day and every day since in granting me the ability to be a mother.

I then researched my due date on babycenter and made a little sign to greet Ronny at the front door- a little Anne Geddes uni-sex bundle that looked something like this with the caption, this will finally be ours around December 16. It's been fun ever since then to take the test by myself, have some time to pray and think on it alone, and then make a little sign or note for Ronny to find to tell him the news!

Today has been a serious mommy day :)-- thinking so fondly and gratefully on the day I found out I was actually going to get to be a mommy, potty training a two year old :( and feeling the tiny faint kicks of my newest 18 -week-old- gestation- joy!

I'm also reminded of a great truth I learned while pregnant with Hudson. See, I thought I wanted him to be a girl. I only have sisters and just thought that's what I would have. I didn't really know any different! I was so surprised to find out he was a boy! Thrilled, but surprised. I learned very quickly that I love little boy clothes and toys and decorating for a boy. I love boy birthday party themes. I love cars and trains and camo. I love what a little man my boy is. I love MY little boy. I cannot imagine my life without him. He and I have the exact relationship I desired as a mom. He is all I wanted my first born to be. Avery and her daintiness, spunk and femininity continued to add to our family in such a unique and perfect way (when I thought I wanted a brother for Hudson!) So I learned very quickly that God not only knows what I need better than I do, he also knows what I want better than I do! And whether it is another son or daughter kicking me today, I can trust God knows what's best for our family. :)

Our Easter Weekend

2010-04-05T09:37:00.024-05:00

We had such a wonderful weekend! The weather was wonderful and that always helps :). My kids enjoyed everything we did and that helps, too!

Friday my sister and brother-in-law, Annesa and Gabe came to town. My sister Emily was around all weekend, too and we had good family time. We dyed eggs with the kids. We let the eggs dry while we napped (yes, I nap too these days!!) and then added the stickers. It was WAY less of a mess than last year, which was good! My dad grilled out burgers and we spent the evening at my parents house. The night was so nice and we spent the whole time outside and my sisters and parents took my kids on a walk and to run around the bases at the baseball field nearby!

Saturday morning Hudson woke up with a rash/hives all on his arms, legs, ear and parts of his face so I took him in to the doctor. All we could figure was he got into something outside or had a reaction to the egg dye :) By the time we saw the doctor he was already feeling better and it hasn't returned. Weird. But glad he is totally fine! So we did that instead of taking our planned nature walk behind Whitehall park on Saturday morning. :( We hung around my parents house and did a little shopping Saturday afternoon. Saturday evening we had a big barbecue dinner at my grandparents house and watched basketball. My mother-in-law also arrived in town on Saturday evening. We got the kids bathed and to sleep easily after lots of playing on Saturday! Ronny, his mom and I then filled tons of eggs with candy and filled up the kids baskets with goodies. I had some stuff- Grammy brought the good stuff!I was so impressed with our Sunday morning. See, I'm late to church every week and it's the biggest ordeal to get out the door... Of the five of us here Sunday morning (me, Ronny, his mom, our kids) only Avery is a morning person! We managed to be up and ready taking pictures and enjoying Easter basket goodies by 8 am. That's a serious feat in this house!!
My beautiful girl is getting so big!!Am I the only one who has to offer a little incentive to get my son to participate in picture taking? :)

Our Sunday morning at church was wonderful. We had a lunch at my parents house and then prepared for the afternoon activities. Every year, my Grandma's whole family, all of her sisters and their families get together for Easter. This year it was at my grandparents house which is great for us especially since they live right next door to my parents! Hudson's waiting happily for all the eggs to be hidden! And they're off:Hudson's basket was getting really full and heavy! He opted to drop the basket and run the eggs back to it!
We had TONS of family in town this year which was so fun. The only real little ones are my two and my cousin Lauren so they each found a jillion eggs! Next year we'll have another one and one of my cousins my age is having her first baby at the same time as mine, so we'll add to the little kid excitement next year! We had a HUGE dinner and even more dessert. Avery had a permanent chocolate ring around her mouth most of the day :).

It was just all in all a great time with lots of family and lots of fun for and with my kids. And lest we forget what we're even doing all this for--
I've tried to explain to my children that all these bunnies and eggs and flowers and things are all signs of new life, The New Life we've been given in Christ. I'm not sure the origin of all these things and I'm sure there is controversary in everything... but for us :), we use all the commercial Easter symbols to remind us of the fresh start and new lives we were given when Jesus died in our place and rised us up in new life in Him.

Yesterday on the way to church I hear Hudson tell Avery, "Hey Avery, Easter is when Jesus died, came back to life and gave the WHOLE WORLD a BRAND NEW LIFE!" Her eyes got wide and she exclaimed, "WOW-WEE!"

Proud of our Bears

2010-04-02T09:47:00.006-05:00

(I'm not sure if we need a new internet router or new computer or what, but we don't have an internet connection more days than we do. It's very annoying :) so I have several things to post all at once!)

We enjoyed last week cheering on our Baylor Bears Basketball teams, both men and women! The Friday night men's game fell on the night Ronny had already planned a basketball tournament for the youth group, so our little family decked out in our Baylor gear and went to our church's life center a little early to watch the game on the big screen while our kids ran around and played with the basketball. The game was a land-slide and fun to watch the Bears win. Sunday we had our church life group over for burgers and to watch the game against Duke. The men played hard but came up short in the end. We had a great time with our friends though!
The women beat Duke in their Elite 8 game and are on to the Final 4 on Easter Sunday. (Terrible time to play but we're excited to watch!!)

I put on my newest Baylor t-shirt at 16 weeks pregnant and discovered it didn't look so good. I definitely had to change clothes before I left home!
All is well with the baby. I am just over 17 weeks now and feeling pretty good. We're excited to spend a wonderful Easter weekend with my family!

I'm reminded this good Friday of one of my favorite video clips ever-- It's Friday, but Sunday is coming! The stormy skies outside at the moment seem perfect for today. What a stormy dark day that day Jesus was crucified must have been. We are so blessed to live now, to not have to wait to see what would happen. We know. We know on this Friday that Resurrection Sunday is coming. He's Risen. He's alive and we never have to live one day in darkness!! (I posted this link last year as well, but I just love it!)

Have a happy weekend!

Catching Up

2010-03-23T09:55:00.003-05:00

So what have I even been doing with my time these days? Somehow the days just keep flying on by! There was snow, there was sun. There were lazy days and busy days...

First we put our house on the market. If you know of anyone looking for a great, updated 4 bedroom (or 3 bedrooms and huge playroom!) in the most convenient location in Woodway, we have the house for you!! We're of course staying in town just looking for a different house for our family. Preferably something with less square footage, lower payments and lower utilities but one that still has 4 bedrooms for our growing fam... We think we've found the house for us, but we need someone to love and buy our house first!! We have a TON of living space in our current house. Really, it's a great house and we would love to sell it to a good family :). So my spare time is spent making sure the house is picked up and always ready to be shown at any moment. That's a lot of work! Especially since housework has never been my forte :) We've done well though and I'm proud of how clean we've kept our house the last 3 weeks!!

I am currently 16 weeks pregnant and feeling SO much better!! The picture below I took of myself at 14 weeks. I got dressed that day and really noticed my tummy so I snapped a pic! My face is goofy and my hand is huge! ha! But it was intended to document the baby belly.

I'm still teaching Zumba several times per week. I love it while I'm doing it and I know I need the exercise but ALL of my energy is GONE when class is over! I'll teach as long as the participants will put up with the tum-tum (as Avery likes to say!)

Spring break was a great week for a our family. I already love when my kids don't have "school" because it means I don't have to pack a lunch or drop off or pick up at any certain time. :) Ronny went camping the first couple of days with youth group kids and then he was off the rest of the week which was awesome. We spent a day in Round Rock shopping the outlets with the kids, who loved it by the way! It was great. You never know how two little ones in a double stroller will handle a day of shopping, but they loved that we were buying things for them :) and that the weather was gorgeous and the mall is all outdoors. We spent time at the park with friends, a day a the Mayborn Museum and good family time with the 4 of us. It was a very enjoyable week, I must say.

Ronny has started a new workout and is doing well. I'm proud of him. I knew he meant business when he went to Five Guys Burgers with the church staff yesterday and only got a single meat burger and no fries. Now I know that's not a salad or anything, but that's a big deal for my man! :) We are both trying our hardest to not have 40 pounds to work off at the end of this pregnancy like WE have done before :)

Finally, a few days ago I saw the first of the bluebonnets! Spring is really here!!

Spring!

2010-03-09T14:31:00.002-06:00

I have never in all my life been more ready for Spring as I am this year. Between my weeks of feeling nauseous, being cooped up in the house and an unusually cold winter, I am ready for Spring!
We ran some errands this morning and then came home to eat some lunch. I then put a chair in the middle of my driveway and sat in it for roughly two hours soaking up all the sun I could while the kids played around me. It was gorgeous! What a happy day! I think I even got my shoulders a little pink. :)
I hear it may rain again tomorrow :( and then there's always the chance that we'll have another cold spell around Easter as we always do... boo... but for today, I am celebrating the sunshine!

Oh I have needed the sun to come out and shine!

I'm turning the corner now into my second trimester. Less and less nausea, a little more energy and a lot more sunshine. Hooray!

Snow Day!

2010-02-28T15:17:00.000-06:00

SNOOOOOOWWW!!!!

I have a feeling many Wacoans blogs will look very much alike over the next couple of days, but hey, we don't get a lot of snow in our little part of the world and we were excited about it! My children especially were! I was also reminded how much I love living in Central Texas where snow is exciting and rare, rather than the norm... no offense to my friends up north, but it would get very old to me :)Hudson was eating the snow right off the side walk ( both of my children LOVE to eat ice), so we decided to make some snow ice cream.
It was delicious! Snow ice cream was a first for me. Fun to make and fun to eat!

... snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes... :

Daddy got to come home early from work. You know how we Central Texans like to cancel school and work for any semi-bad weather! Hudson and he had serious snow man building skills. Well, they did what they could without a shovel or anything but their frozen hands. :) It took a lot of convincing too to get Hudson to come inside for a bit. He loved adding snow to the snowman making him fatter and fatter!

The house looked so pretty! I mean, this is a lot of snow for us! It was especially deep in the back yard because the yard is more level back there. It was just fun to romp and stomp and throw snow balls and play with something totally new to my little ones! I really don't like this particular tree in my yard, but somehow on snow day it was my favorite :)

And of course today, just 4 days after the snow melted, it is 70 degrees. Welcome to Central Texas. The sunshine is heavenly and I am begging it to stay! My house needs Spring! After all the bad weather and weeks of morning sickness :), we are ready to get out of this house and play in the sun!!

Without Further Adieu...

2010-02-20T18:38:00.005-06:00

And because I don't like to post without pictures, I was waiting for this one:That is my beautiful third baby in there, at about 11 1/2 weeks! He/She looks to be due to join us around September 6.

We always knew we wanted more. So it's no "surprise" really, yet I couldn't help but be totally shocked when there were two lines on the stick. There was a time in my life, over 5 years ago, when I wasn't sure what motherhood was going to look like for me. Tears stream down my face even now as I truly live my dream. It is too good to be true. I am overjoyed.

There is no human sense that can be applied. All I can say is I am humbled and honored to get to carry this one. This is a time when "thanking God" seems inadequate, not enough somehow, so I just squeeze my tear filled eyes tight and clutch my growing tummy and I think He knows how grateful my human heart is. :)

Thursday morning we heard the strong, steady heartbeat with the doppler. I never get tired of hearing that sound. If they let me lay there all day listening to it, I would! Ronny also reminded our sweet doctor how we didn't get to print any pictures at the early 7 week ultrasound so he took me in for a quick peek to get some pics! No measurements or anything, just a chance to watch my teeny tiny baby jump and squirm. A head. A body. Two arms. Two legs. A heartbeat. A baby. My baby.

A lot of things will change again in my little life. Lots of rearranging both literally and figuratively. On that note, I'll finish up with my favorite quote from a cheesy little gift book about pregnancy that I adore! I read it with each of my children and read it again while only the Lord and I knew our little secret! From "We've Been Waiting for You" by Carolyn Arends. She says while 7 weeks pregnant with her first child and watching a very pregnant women "wheeze and prod" through a maternity store, "Go ahead, I whisper to my child-in-waiting, take all the room you need. Increase my waist. Expand my heart. Enlarge my soul. Grow me up."

School Programs

2010-02-15T18:15:00.009-06:00

My Hudson doesn't like big crowds. He doesn't like anything too out of the ordinary. He likes to be prepared and he doesn't want it to be too loud. He loves singing and is a total clown at home, but he is very reserved in public. He behaves very well at school, thankfully! He's just overall a pretty serious kid unless he's home with just our immediate family or a handful of his closest friends. So just before Christmas his wonderful preschool did the music for the family chapel at the school. I knew he knew the songs. I knew he was fully capable. But every day during rehearsal he stood with his hands over his ears and his lip out. I asked his teachers if I should even bring him! They assured me we should try, so we did. In fact, I told Hudson I would get him anything he wanted if he would stand with his class, not have his hands over his ears and if he would actually sing!

Even walking into the sanctuary that day, he had silent tears coming down his face. But then, the music started and he did it! He sang every word! I promised him I would not take pictures but I cheated a little :) Can you even see him up there, over the people's heads that my camera focused on?!I was just so proud! He was so adorable. He had overcome a major obstacle and I was so, so proud of him.

That day was followed by his school Christmas party that I was in charge of and never blogged about. Yes, the moment has passed, but this is all I have in way of a scrapbook so I'm including it!One of his teachers, Mrs. Connor. We are so blessed to have the two BEST teachers this year!

Doing the Christmas Light craft.

This is the most delicious craft! Ice cream cone, green icing and mini m&ms for ornaments.

Then this week comes "Taste of Honey"- the annual fund raiser for his school. Each day at preschool they practice the songs and he comes home singing them. He knows the words, he knows the motions and he is totally excited for the program! I don't bribe him because I think we're over that. However, he gets to his spot and I can tell- he ain't doin it. And he didn't. He stood, perfectly still, blank face, the whole time. At least he didn't burst into tears like he did at his mother's day out program. At least he didn't cover his ears. Oh he stood there. That's all he did!So I guess it's still a toss up with that kid. And I know it doesn't really matter. He was still the cutest one :).And we managed to catch a faint smile in this one!

When I asked him this morning why he didn't sing last night, he said, "I was frustrated." OK... by what, my dear? "I was confused by all those tables." The sanctuary was set up for us to eat, as well as enjoy the program. It looked different and was full of strangers and he wasn't having it! :)

Oh and when he did sing at Christmas and was offered anything he wanted as reward... all he really wanted was to eat the candy cane ornament he had made at school and had to put on the tree... Done. :) Funny kid.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T08:00:00.000-06:00

May you feel loved today--mwah!

Big Girl Bed

2010-02-13T17:46:00.006-06:00

Avery finally convinced us she was ready for a big bed. We found a beautiful bed at a discontinued price while doing a little shopping in Dallas around Christmastime. So it had been up in her room for a month or so. She showed it to everyone who came over and loved it so much, but it didn't even have a mattress!A couple of weeks ago, my darling, unspoiled two year old picked up a Pottery Barn Kids catalog and started begging me to "buy stuff". She picked out everything in the catalog and said, "want dis for my room and dis for my room...". Finally it dawned on me, she was wanting things for her big girl bed/room. So one evening we got a mattress and a board of ply wood to put under it to hold the rail on-- the rail that was Hudson's that will be painted white like her bed but is still dark brown. We put on some old twin sheets of mine from college and she was set! One day I will buy the beautiful PBK green daisy garden quilt but until then, thankfully, she doesn't know the difference and is sleeping like a champ!

She was so excited and still is. She climbs right in on her own, gets tucked in and goes right to sleep even for naps! She doesn't know it's a total ghetto set up. She is happy as a little clam! :)

Internet

2010-02-02T18:41:00.002-06:00

After more than two weeks, we finally have internet at home again! I never could figure out how to blog from my phone (annoying!) and so my poor blog was terribly neglected. We were having trouble before which is why my last post ended so abruptly so I will finish my "simple" thoughts, soon. For now, I am just happy to be connected again!

Our new year is off to a very good start. We're enjoying life! Let's see, my kids are awesome and I got a new washing machine. How very exciting! I'm laughing, too that my google reader is showing me 366 unread blog posts from those I follow. That might take a while but I feel so disconnected after so long. That's just sad. Turns out internet is a necessity. Who knew? :)

Simplify

2010-01-19T14:57:00.004-06:00

Since my blogging is greatly lacking and since January is not yet over, well then, I can still post about New Years Resolutions, right?

As December neared it's end, I began to think about what I wanted to be different about this new year. The one word that kept popping into my head was "simplify". I don't yet fully know what that means for me or my family and or what all practical steps I will need to take, but this I do know, God has called my family to simplify... a lot.

This really should be "the time" of my life. This is the time I dreamed about from the time I was a little girl. I do not have children in school. I don't have homework and extracurricular activities. I have nothing that we HAVE to do. And yet I found last fall to be far busier than I ever wanted it to be. I found my money spending to be frivolous and irresponsible. I found my house to be a wreck and my car to be even worse... you get the picture. Some things have to go. Closets need to be cleaned out. Toys need to be sorted and given away. Family time absolutely must be priority. I need days to stay home and play with my kids or better yet have a day so empty of "have tos" that we get to play at the Mayborn and have a picnic lunch and do so with friends that we don't see enough. I don't have to participate in every thing my church has to offer for women and moms.

So since January 1, this idea to simplify has been floating around in my head. Then just last week our Life Group "assignment" was the next two chapters of the book we are studying together. First the chapter on study and then the chapter I was totally excited about, "Simplicity." Awesome! I want to know more about this anyway, so bring it on!

Whoa... talk about convicting and challenging. This strict biblical idea of simplicity went far beyond sorting through my kids toys, avoiding credit cards and getting rid of old clothes...

Christmas turned into New Years

2010-01-12T20:36:00.010-06:00

Well we are WELL into 2010 and I am finally wrapping up our Christmas! On the 30th of December we drove back up to Dallas to eat dinner with Ronny's Uncle Chris and that side of the family. Since Ronny's dad passed away in 2001 and then his dad's sister, Marilyn (Chris's wife) passed away in 2007, Uncle Chris very much serves as another grandpa for our kids. My kids LOVE to go to his house and we had a really great visit. Of course by the time we started taking pictures, Hudson was completely worn out from playing all night with his cousins and would not have anything to do with the camera so I have none. :( We spent the night with Ronny's mom and then, on the 31st, we drove up to Denton to Ronny's grandparents house. There, the cousins played some more and we had a nice family dinner to celebrate... get this... Ronny's grandparents 70th Wedding Anniversary! Yes, 70 years! Unbelievable!

Then we all drove back to our house- my little family, Ronny's mom, Ronny's brother and his family.We spent New Year's Eve grilling out steaks, playing with the kids on the Wii and while Avery had to go down early, Hudson and his two big cousins stayed up until the ball dropped in New York! They blew their horns and had a big time. Hudson slept in Avery's room on his new Lightning McQueen blow up bed and kindly gave up his room for company. It was so exciting for me to have company and not have a child in my room :) I was impressed at how well Hudson and Avery did in the same room.We had a great time with the rest of the Higgins! We enjoyed a break from the cold and played at the park. Ronny and his brother had the boys practicing their soccer skills while we girls played on the playground :) We spent a fun day at the Mayborn Museum and plenty of time in the back yard and on the Wii.
We celebrated Christmas with Grammy and cousins and thoroughly enjoyed our company for a few days!

Hudson got new train stuff from Grammy Avery was very excited to open her new baby doll that will actually cry and take a bottle and paci. :)She loves playing mommy!

Here's Grammy and the little Higgins!

Happy New Year!

Our family of 4 Christmas

2009-12-27T12:29:00.000-06:00

We had a few days then after all the big family Christmases to gear up for our own little family Christmas. We kept our gifts simple. There was nothing my children lacked after their birthdays this month and all the family members buying them gifts! They each got one gift from us to unwrap and their one big unwrapped gift by the tree. We made a family trip to Target the evening of the 21st. Hudson and I shopped for Daddy and Avery. Avery and Ronny shopped for me and Hudson. So there was something to unwrap from the kids to us as well as something to unwrap from the kids to each other. It was really fun for them to be in on the shopping!

December 24- Christmas Eve at home. We stayed in our pj's, played Christmas music all day, made fudge and cake balls, wrapped presents and then it snowed! It was so cold and the wind was blowing so hard that the kids didn't even hardly want out in it. We snapped a few pictures and they loved watching through the window. By then it was time to head to church for our Christmas Eve Service. My parents and Emily and Thomas came with us. The kids did great- they loved the candles and all the music and we had a wonderfully worshipful service. We left church and went straight to my great-aunt's house for a gathering with all of my dad's family- his aunts, uncles and cousins. It was a small group this year but we had a great dinner and enjoyed the evening very much.

We finally got the kids in bed and put together their play kitchen and got food ready for our brunch the next morning. We finally got in bed ourselves about 2 am. I think this makes us real parents on Christmas Eve!! :)

**** about 11:00 Emily and Thomas came over to tell us they had just gotten engaged! It was a magical night with all the Christmas lights and snow! A perfect time to get engaged. We love Thomas and are so thrilled to have him permanently in the family!! The kids don't think it's a big deal because they think Thomas is already their uncle!****

December 25-- AT LAST!!!-- We finally woke both children around 8:30 to get the show on the road! We all read the Christmas story from Luke in our bed before we ventured out to the dining room to open presents. The kids LOVE their kitchen. They had a great time opening their presents from each other. Kids are so simple at this age to be grateful for everything! :) Hudson chose a Superman shirt for Ronny! And for Avery, he chose a Little Mermaid crown and jewelry :). Ronny and Avery chose one present for her to give Hudson- his first transformer that goes from a lion to a robot! Ronny and Avery also chose one present for the kids to give me- a pretty silver necklace :). We had a great time with those little gifts!

Ronny and I got the kids a play kitchen complete with a grill (so it's masculine!) as their one big gift. I ordered it before Thanksgiving!Then Avery got a little wooden crib for her babies with other little pretend play things for her babies (spoons, food, wipes, diaper, changing pad, etc.) from Ronny and me. (Hudson kept telling her to sit the baby up or she would choke!) Hudson got awesome new cowboy boots from us. We filled their stockings with a few other little goodies. And that was it! I bought Ronny some new boots and he got me a watch that records my heart rate, calories burned, etc. I asked for it, he wasn't giving me a hint or anything! :) Everyone had two gifts to open and it was a sweet time by the tree for my little fam. Sarah McLaughlin Christmas CD is awesome and it played in the background for us.

My parents and Emily came over for brunch. (Annesa and Gabe are spending the week with his family in North Carolina.) We filled our bellies with sausage ball, green chili breakfast casserole, monkey bread, cinnamon rolls, cake balls :), coffee and cider. yum. Emily and Thomas then left to go to his grandparents in Longview. After we had cleaned up brunch, we decided to go to Denton to see Ronny's grandparents and mom! We are going up there again later in the week while Ronny's brother and his family are in town, but we decided to spend Christmas day with them, too. Very last minute but fun to surprise them! We got there around 3 and left about 7. A lot of driving for a short time but we enjoy car rides together. The kids did great and we had a really good visit.

And now here I sit, a couple of days after Christmas... it's always a let down :). And Hudson woke up with fever yesterday :(. I think his body is just very tired after ALL the festivities! I must say our Christmas, all of them, were quite possibly the best we've had as a family! I am so grateful for the absolutely wonderful holiday!

The Christmases Leading Up to Christmas

2009-12-26T12:13:00.021-06:00

My family has always been really good to celebrate Christmas on the day that everyone can be together. That has rarely been December 25th!

Now that I have children, and brothers in law, and am blessed enough to still have all 4 of my grandparents and am close to all my aunts, uncles and cousins... well getting 4 generations together all at one place at one time is a trick! We managed to do it all again this and I am so glad!!

December 18- my sister Annesa and her new husband Gabe arrived at my parents house from Houston. My sister Emily and her then boyfriend, Thomas, (I say then boyfriend because he is now her fiance!! woo hoo!!) also came over and we all had the "immediate Lindsey family Christmas Eve." Annesa made gingerbread man cakes and we iced and decorated them. They tasted better than they looked after we were done with them :)

December 19- Christmas Morning at my parents house. Stockings, presents, big Christmas brunch, the works. I totally thought it was Dec. 25 all day! I fixed my kids plates before my own and sat them down in the dining room... When I got back with my own plate, this is how I found them! Thankfully the camera was close so I could capture them blessing their food! :)

Hudson wanted Avery to have a pink truck to play with. Aunt Nesa and Uncle Gabe came through!
The Cowboys in their glory days- Ronny's favorites- Troy, Michael and Emmett.

Hudson in his adorable bath robe! We all got my dad and new grill and that was fun to surprise him with, too! And, I finally got me some Uggs. I love them!

Later that afternoon we all went to my grandparents (dad's parents) for big Lindsey family Christmas. More presents, Christmas dinner, the whole family, a good time! These picture are so funny to me, and only me I know, but we all sit in the same place every year and I probably have 10 pictures from years past that look just like these (above and below)! :) To my right I see my Dad, Mom, Aunt Margaret and Uncle Steve. To my left sits my Pepaw and Grandma! :) Then right beside me is my Aunt Alicia and Uncle Steve. (yes, I have 2 Uncle Steves!) The "kids" still sit in the floor. :)Only the "kids" get presents. This year the cut off was if you were still in college or younger, you were still a kid! :) Avery's favorite was her Snow White cleaning stuff! (the broom sings!)And Hudson's was his wrecking ball truck!
December 20- Christmas at the Hunnicutts (mom's parents). Stockings, presents, brunch and dinner with plenty of chips, queso, cider, cookies and coffee to keep us full between meals! This year instead of drawing names for gifts, we each bought everyone a little stocking stuffer and did only the stockings. Of course the stockings then over-flowed onto the sacks below :) My generous fam did however, still bring presents for my kids! Avery said, "ooh, a Dora Fing! (thing)" (it's a tunnel with a tent- she loves it!!!):She also got her very own make-up, purse, dress up shoes and a new baby. She is all girl!

Hudson's best gift:ha ha!!! He also got a Lightning McQueen blow up mattress with attached sleeping bag that he has already used and loves! He got a great African Animal game, too which of course is already a favorite.

All the grandkids and great-grands reading "The Shiniest Star". My mom got this book from her cousin on her 2nd Christmas and it has been read by the family every year since! 51 years of reading :) We're cool. Keri and Annesa think so. So does Avery.
My cousin Ryan and his girl friend Tracie with their baby, Roxie. Roxie also got presents that day! :)I'm not sure what they are studying so intently and sadly it is the only picture I got that day of my Uncle Ken, Aunt Becky and my Memaw and Papaw.
My boys! Hudson says this is a moose on his shirt, but that on Christmas we call it a reindeer. :)Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Holiday to do list

2009-12-24T10:34:00.002-06:00

1.Listen(ing) to Christmas music- check

2.Take the kids to see Christmas lights- check

3.Take pictures of the kids in their Christmas clothes at the Mayborn- oops, they're closed today. Hope the Mayborn is still decorated between Christmas and New Years! :)

4. Make Red Velvet Cake Balls- in the process, cake in oven.

5. Make gingerbread houses- check. Well, Hudson put together a gingerbread train... Rather my mom did and Hudson licked icing :)

6. Put together the kids kitchen/grill set- (I have no doubt Ronny will save this until about midnight tonight!)

7. Wrap the rest of the gifts- again, put off until kids are in bed.

8. Attend Christmas Eve service at HBC tonight, followed by big family gathering at my great aunt's house- planning on it.

9. Enjoy the family- check, check.

10. Put off anything not associated with Christmas for a few more days- check, check, check...

Meeska Mooska Mickey (and Minnie!) Mouse

2009-12-22T09:05:00.021-06:00

I need to get Thanksgiving and Birthdays wrapped up so I can start on Christmas!! I added some pictures to Avery's Birthday Weekend post. I still need to get Thanksgiving pictures from my dad and add them. See, my scrapbooking things last made my wedding book... I never got Avery's baby book finished... But it's still important to me to have the goings on of my family recorded...

So anyway, in early December we had a combined birthday party for both kids and their friends. I was looking for a uni-sex theme that is also something that both kids love. My 4th birthday was with a good friend from church who shared my birthday. He and I had a Mickey and Minnie party at Whitehall Park in 1983 :) So I thought it was fitting!

Sewsweettoo on etsy made the adorable t-shirt for the kids. Angela designed the invites. I used many of the same carnival games that we used last year from my friend Ashlie (who now lives in Europe!) for the kids circus party and our friend Anja painted a pin the tail on the mickey game. Did you know that the boxed version of "pin the tail on mickey" was last made in like the 60s, is a collector's item and costs a whole lot of money?! So, I printed a picture of it and Anja made it poster sized and painted it beautifully! We cut ribbons for tales and voila! I don't even know where Hudson first saw this game, but he requested it for his party. The ever talented Gwyndene Hunt made the kids Mickey and Minnie cupcakes. They were so cute and so yummy and the kids thought it was so funny that the ears turned their tongues black! Isn't he so beautiful, black icing and all?! He and Avery are 3 days apart.

Yessss! This is the face of a kid enjoying his cupcake!

Cheeeese!

We served hot diggity dogs, mick-a-roni and cheese, clubhouse crunchies (chex mix), minnie's fruit garden, lemonade and cupcakes. The kids ate lunch, played games, and painted mickey and minnie pictures.

and did a pull string mickey pinata. There was lots of fun, lots of candy and lots of friends. She looks like she's posed for a picture before :)

More friends enjoying the festivities:

My kids had a blast and that's the important thing! They've been singing happy birthday to each other since. Emerie helped Hudson blow out candles... and Hudson helped Avery... So everyone was happy! :) We did it on a Friday at lunch time so it was pretty low key. To me, it was an old school mickey mouse party at home! Hudson asked to just have his friends at his house. He was a cute host. This is Avery's new picture smile-- When everyone left, she asked me, "I get in my own bed?!" and she went right to sleep! :)

I'd say the day was a success!!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-21T14:55:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas week, friends! We have celebrated three times already this past weekend and we are gearing up for some more. We're having a ball! Hope your week is happy!

Perspective

2009-12-18T15:12:00.003-06:00

My mean side wants to post this:

Dear unnamed staff who dealt terribly with Hudson as a one year old,
Yesterday my son went to the doctor for his 4 year well child visit. There our doctor told us that he was perfect in every way. Hudson loves to see him and plays "Dr. Shelton" at home where he makes funny sounds and looks in Avery's ears. And then taps her feet to see if it hurts her tummy. Dr. Shelton did that once when Hudson was having tummy troubles to check his appendix and Hudson thought it was so funny. Then he told us that Hudson is actually in the 75th percentile for his weight for height. Then he acted very brave when he got his immunizations. He is sounding out words and singing every word in his school program. No "failure to thrive" here! I just thought you should know.
Sincerely,
Kylie Higgins

My nice side wants to say this:
Yesterday I had both kids at the mall. We were going to eat Chick-fil-A for breakfast, make a quick return at the Gap and then go play until it was time to go to the doctor. First it took us way longer than it should have to get out the door. All our blood sugar was low and I was annoyed when we got there. Hudson spilled his whole lemonade 5 minutes after we sat down at the table. Avery acted excited and hungry and then refused to eat a bite. She cried to get back in the stroller where she begged to go play until Hudson and I finished eating. She fussed and whined the whole time we were in the Gap. We finally got down to play and while we were at the play area next to Santa, the special education class from one of the local schools was there visiting Santa. I sat down worn out from my morning and thinking that my daughter was acting so "difficult". Then I saw these precious children and all the patient, devoted teachers with then. I thought how even though I am sure they are very loved, how very tired their mothers must be. I realized I have no idea what "difficult" really is. I couldn't help it, tears were streaming down my face. It concerned my children and I had to get it together. But my perspective was jolted fiercely. Suddenly I didn't feel so worn out, but completely grateful.

What a Weekend!

2009-12-15T09:23:00.025-06:00

After a very busy week last week, I have never been more excited about the weekend! This one I knew would be full, but would be wonderful and it did not disappoint!

Be warned- it's long and there are lots of pictures!

Friday night we gave the kids their new matching Christmas pj's with the promise that they could wear them the next night on the Polar Express! We watched the movie, "Polar Express" and tried to get them to bed early. They were too excited :) Hudson also woke up very early but was so sweet and so excited!

We drove up to Dallas Saturday morning and got checked into our hotel and Ronny checked in and picked up his race packet for his marathon on Sunday. We then drove on to Grapevine to play at the North Pole Express Christmas Village. The kids were to wear their pj's on the train, so I'm laughing at my son riding a pony in his jammies-- and Nike's and Carhart. He named his little pony, "Spirit", of course. The wild mustang of the West and this little Shetland have a lot in common :). Avery called them "ponytails" and said "I too little ride ponytails."We played in the bounce house and inflatable train. We made ornaments and paid to visit with Santa, then my children ran the other way, Avery in tears, and we got our money back :). The kids tried hot chocolate and funnel cake for the first time. There were lots of Christmas decorations up that were really fun for the kids. Avery's favorite was the Christmas beaver exhibit. A little weird, but she loved it.
Finally it was show-time. Our turn to ride the train! First we all went into this huge tent for a 30 minute show. All excited, we got in line early and got seats on the front row. (insert sarcastic "yippee" now). The show was lame-o. I mean, a middle school talent show has it's place- you know, at a middle school. Not a place I've paid full price for even my 2 year old. But anyway, we endured and it was fine :). At one point they invited all the children to come up on stage and sing Jingle Bells together. Hudson of course buries himself in Ronny horrified at the thought of getting up in front of all those people. I jokingly asked Avery if she wanted to go up on stage. She nodded excitedly and took herself right onto the stage. Since we were right on the front row, I let her go and watched. (see her red pants and brown coat climbing on?!) She climbed up the steps on all fours and then positioned herself right there in front in the midst of all the kids way older than her! She sang the words she knew and then she just smiled and danced. It was hilarious! I could not believe how big she looked! It absolutely made my day to see her up there having such a great time. (click to see it bigger and see her sweet smile). She was loving being on that stage! Hudson was even scared for her. :) Slight differences in their personalities there!

At last they sang "All Aboard" and we got to get on the train. Hudson LOVED it. This was his birthday present from us so it's a good thing. We sang Christmas songs and listened to a Christmas story. Then Santa himself came through the train! We kind of play down Santa at our house so my kids weren't overly impressed-ha! Avery was downright scared. Hudson just wanted to watch out the window as we rode. They had a blast on the train! Hudson was disappointed that there were grown-ups on the train. He wanted it to be just kids like the movie :). It was so much fun for Ronny and me to watch them have such a great time. Hudson snuggled up with Ronny on the train and said, "I love you daddy" in this soft, thankful voice! They were so precious. It was such a nice day to not do anything ordinary but have a great family day. A great day getting ready for Christmas and a wonderful day celebrating Hudson's birthday! Totally worth it.

We met my friend Liz and her little boy for dinner and loaded Ronny up on spaghetti to get ready for his run the next day. It was great to see her even though my children were kind of maniacs in the restaurant. It happens. :)

The kids slept in a double bed in our hotel room. The first time for them to both sleep in the same bed and Avery in a big bed for the whole night. They did really well. It was really nice to not haul up the pack n play. Hudson and I love staying in hotels!

Ronny got up first on Sunday of course and took the race shuttle to the start line. The kids and I met up with him for the first time around mile 12. We stood by and cheered him on. He stopped ever so briefly to kiss the kids and they were so excited to see him run his marathon! We got back in the car and drove on to about mile 18 to cheer him on again. I'm not a runner at all, but I love the race atmosphere! It is so fun for me to cheer on the runners and be apart of all the adrenaline without actually having to run :). When Ronny passed us at 18, Hudson told me, "I sure hope daddy wins." So cute! He has no idea the winner of the marathon had already finished well before ;), he just thinks his daddy is the best!!

Ronny finished under his goal time for this race and we were SO proud!! Hudson spotted a lady selling cotton candy and well, it was his birthday and all so he got his own bag. And ate it all while we were looking for a place to eat lunch. oops :) We ended up at Joe's Crab Shack where the kids could play on the playground and Hudson got to get pizza, corn on the cob and a Sprite. His favorites for his birthday! I drove us home from there and Ronny is recovering nicely. :)

Now it's back to another busy week but this coming weekend we get to celebrate Christmas with all of my family so that gives us something super exciting to look forward to!